Holy moly. If you can only take a step back, maybe read a book or five, take a chill pill. Hold the train. Something. Anything. The thing is when you think ahead, the fret tree takes root and the worry and brooding becomes the fruit of the vine. The mantras and the Word made flesh seems to disappear. All the grounding one has in faith, hope and love, being reasonable, crumbles for a while as one tries to grapple with a thinking in one’s mind.
The projection of worry is like vomit. Eewww! Not a metaphor I want to relate to but still it comes. Why can the mind not be put on hold for just a hot minute? Redundant, I know. Mind and worry or anxiousness in the same sentence is a given. A human failing that conquers all of one’s insides until you can grab a hold of a lifeline of a more enduring thought of hope and reason. And aahh!!! this too shall pass. Yes indeedy. Just tell that to the working ever-loving mind.
I like words and how they come together, bringing a solace to the weary heart as you scan their intent. And yet words of comfort and reason are duly replaced in quick succession with the meanderings coming slowly into one’s consciousness, doing a thoroughly good job of creating havoc of the irrational debilitating kind. Thinking and fretting of something that has not yet happened but it is in the offing. Well let’s just say the plethora of that so called knowledge of life and experience and stories and real scenarios and Youtubing and Googling and ‘what ifs’ come a knocking and burst out, binging and ringing, until a dizziness is ingrained in the intellectual capacity of the brain. LOL.
Not so funny when you cannot find the lifeboat of reality and calm within. It is one thing to be able to live with and in chaos but usually you can find your dependable life-giving rock to stand upon; whatever or whomever that may be. It just can get in the way of being fully present to the moment, the day. I think of how much real estate worry can take up in one’s own realm of bodily systems that have a big job already….just to function adequately or fairly well. Not going to say excellently at my age. Or maybe I should. ROFL.
The thing is most of the projected worry that comes in, stirring up the fraught and angst, does not stop on a dime. It does not seem to matter the issue, it just niggles and wiggles until it gets the body a jittery and one’ actions in word and deed misbehave. Yep. Not a good sign.
As a mother, a Rara (grandmother term), a daughter, a sister, a friend or a ‘two ships in the day’ paths cross, my heart responds. And in the engagement with whomever, the heart feels for them. Wants to fix or take a way or make better or find a solution to alleviate whatever is causing the frown line. Is that a maternal thing?? Not so sure. But alas that is not mine to own. Not mine to take on. Not mine to fix. Oh what to do, what to do when you live a shoe!!
Prayer. That has got to be it. Or at least for me. It’s all good. God will take care of things because at the end of the day, whatever is going to take place, will. Whatever is going to happen. Will. Whatever is the result. Will be. It is out of my hands and honestly it should be.
So pray anyway as Mother Teresa (or Saint Teresa now) would say. Just do it. Allow the beauty of letting go, saying things aloud or silently, feel the water of life assuage and relieve you of the heaviness taking over the nooks and crannies of the worn and tired of thinking brain matter. And if for another, then the power of love and care come in. There is nothing like knowing someone is thinking about you, caring for you, loving you.
The odd thing about life is that things eventually work out. They always do. What that looks like…oh for the knowing?? It is not for us to know but to embrace. Maybe these times of uncertainty are necessary and needed so that when the goodness comes a heart soars from the blessing. Hopefully. Not everyone can do that I realize. And to let go and give over is not easy either.
I think about an old poem by Arielle Perkins “God’s Boxes” and maybe should take a leaf out of her page….put the fret, anxiety, concern, stress, disquiet, dread, fearfulness, worry….in the black box. Gone. Whew! Feels good. At least the intention is good. Time
Not sure what the current trend of ‘yo bro, got your back’ is but ‘just chill’ is my jam. Watching too many young adult movies. Haha. My arms are wide, my ears are ready, and my mouth is closed. I guess learning to chill better might be the goal. But in the mean time, I put out good thoughts, tender care, and heartfelt prayers for those I am thinking of today and whatever is on their plate. It’s all good.
But in the mean time, be gentle to self in the ‘thinking ahead’. There will be thousands of those over the years so don’t worry about the worry. LOL. Some will be good and others not so great. Fretting about something does not have the power to prevent whatever from happening, good or bad. And the thing is that we do not know what is or going to happen. Do we? Soooooo…… Yeah it sucks big time. Blessings.
Let us pray for those in need of our prayers today.
Karenpondering 