Karenpondering

Only Metal

I’m ready to let you go now. Oh my dear old friend, I bid you adieu. I did not think it was going to be so hard on me as I watched you, my old faithful, go up in flames. Literally. Let me tell you that you are missed. I know that you were showing your years but honestly a sign could not have been so blatant as you lit up the evening air with smoke and flames just a couple of weeks ago. Oh my heart beat loudly as I watched you end.

One never knows what is going to happen in your life from one moment to the next. I just filled you up with gas for goodness sake, on my way to learn how to play pickle ball. Yep, I did not get there. For not two street lights away, a random car rolls down its window to my left as i was driving along and the man shouts out, “your truck is on fire”. I did not see anything at first and then lo and behold a slow trickle of smoke from front of hood began and then whoosh, a big puff of grey smoke unfurls. Immediately I found and turned at the side street ahead….thank the Lord it was there for I was getting into a busy intersection of the city.

Good Samaritans came swooping in, one to my back, cutting off the lane to traffic and then to my far right, crossing street and rushing over to see if I was okay. Yep. Nope. I was not. I was in shock to say the least for I could not comprehend what I was seeing. I want to thank those two strangers who came out of no where and kept me focused. Thankfully one called 911 because I was too much in shock to know what to do….as my head was slow to get in gear and make a call a minute or two late. The 911 person said what is your situation and she knew what and where I was located!!! Honestly, technology has to be the absolute best. Police and fire chief and fire crew came as well as my brother-in-law. All of them reiterated again and again saying “it was only metal. And you are okay.”

Upon reflection, it could have happened while I was out in the rural country driving in or at my home or any number of places. I could have had my grandkids too. Nope, not going there. Needless to say, I am grateful for all that did not happen. You know the woulda, coulda, shoulda…well it is not all for not. I loved my truck and it served me well over the years. But like all good things, they come to an end in some ways, leaving a new door so to speak to open.

I am so grateful to all and especially afterward, as my sister drove me home. I was shaking and her calm way and storytelling allowed me to be still. As well as her husband who stood by and accessed truck for things that were left in there. I wonder if people actually know what is or is not in their vehicle? I did not for sure. And I was not sticking around to find out until I had to go visit it.

Even though my thoughts give over to an ode of farewell, it has put things into perspective. Life is precious. Things can be replaced. Life is precious. Metal is metal. Life is precious. Be thankful.

Did not get a truck. Big sigh. No. I had to be realistic because gas and long term reliability versus being higher up and versatility. What a journey of what is out there!! All of my time over the next few days was spent noting make and models. Hahaha. How is anyone to decide?? Well suffice to say it would not be a car. I am not bending down any more. These seasoned bones are seasoned not nimble and limber.

So, I bit the bullet and voila, not a truck but feels rugged enough. And this one does the trick. I can slide my bottom into the seat, heated seat. Hmmm. Well maybe a wee bit too much of a trick and treat. New. Never had new. Goodness. From a key to a fob who would have thought! It almost talks for land sakes! My learning curve is going through some growing pains but it’s all good.

So thank you kind old faithful truck, for giving me some wonderful years. You toggled many a mile (kilometre) to see those whom I love, took those whom I love, got rid of, trailered, and most of all gave me joy. I want to thank you for letting me down in a place where I was relatively safe, could be helped and no one got hurt. You served your purpose and that is all that I could ask.

Let us pray for those whom are in need of our prayers and for those who come to know that life as we know it is precious. Amen.

Thank you Miss Rumphius

Oh my goodness, I love the world full of colour as I trek along the open fields, red dirt lanes and random stretches of side roads ladened especially with the wild blooms of lupins. It is magical. Funnily enough, I was given a special awareness of a read aloud just recently as I am such a fan of children’s books. I did not know about this one Miss Rumphius. What a title!! I send up a grateful prayer and thank you to you Miss Rumphius who made the world most beautiful. It’s a delightful children’s book by Barbara Cooney (thank you to Lisa and Kimm who said I have to read it) as the author shares the tale of how lupins came to be.

I can just imagine here on the PE island that she was here, the lupin lady Miss Rumphius. For here on the island during the month of June I think lupins have a hold of the hearts of many, enjoying the fruits of such beautifully crazily scattered blooms of magnificence. It is amazing to me. God’s own garden.

When I moved here 10 years ago this summer, I had no idea that such a gift would be bestowed upon my eyes. My morning walks are just so delightfully more colourful. I love these flowers and I did not have to plant them. LOL. A green thumber I am not but mom and dad, I really am giving it ago just so you know. I am not sure how or when I noticed but as the weather got better for morning walks over the years, the beauty of Mother Nature and her wondrous ways just appeared, making the walks seem more cheery and wondrous. The colours of pinks, purples and blues are so rich and deep in colours that catches the eye of the beholder. I know the lens does not do the palette justice but oh well….in my mind it does.

There is something about these particular flowers that have me pause. I think it is the unexpected popping up of them, literally all over the place. No rhyme, no reason, just this beauty. The look of them, swaying back and forth, dew drops on their delicate petals, standing tall and steadfast amongst the brush and long grasses, with no groomed tending, they just are. After reading the story and listening to it on youtube, I caught joy and belief. Oh yes, I can believe Miss Rumphius you were absolutely here for lupins do actually crop up, surprisingly and unexpectedly in unusual places. Wow! I love it. So I thank you Lupin Lady who gave her third promise in making the world a more beautiful place to be. What would be my promise hopefully in doing the same…making the world a more beautiful place? Blessings.

Let us pray for those whom are in need of our prayers and for those moments given to us, unexpectedly in hope. Amen.

Length of Healing

St Michael, South Grove, Highgate – West doorway by John Salmon is licensed under CC-BY-SA 2.0

Sometimes broken things don’t actually need fixing or mending right away. Occasionally they just need a moment, a bit of time. And patience. Maybe lots of persistence with a presence willing to sit with them while they heal. You never know what goes on in another person’s life. That old adage of walking in another person’s shoes or sandals or boots. Not sure what the footwear might be, but to be able to see otherness. Healing has no frame of chronology or objectivity. It just exists as life happens.

I wonder how long it takes for one to truly heal? To allow the vestiges of circumstances, life lived, that beat a way on the wearied heart, and be lifted up and away? Ah for that moment of release. A liked sense of owning aloud. To feel that invisible weight of agony or loss or forgiveness, whatever form it takes that we hang on to, good or bad, because it has no sides to it, to loosens its hold.

But in the mean time what does one do while walking through the steps of grief or sorrow or pain? A darkness that creeps in and out with a little glimmer of light catchings the edges of the darkness. Yet for no rhyme or reason, except maybe that merciful eternal hope within the human condition, a Divine steps in, a sacred mystery of sorts, comes a knocking. And on one normal ordinary day, during a morning or afternoon, a time in the daily, a tip of warmth comes upon your heart and it feels. Subtle, not too loudly, but hovers and shifts deeply and stirs. It might not be today nor even tomorrow, but at some point that withering cracked.

Oh my. Open that door wide. It’s okay to feel the curative drip of life seeping through upon that desert walk, arid and barren, to awash the worn and weary lone heart of yore. You are not alone. Not today. Blessings

Let us pray for those who are in need of our prayers and for those weary hearts who seek solace, curing and peace. Amen.

Blessings this day

Ah, it is of pure mystery and delight to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day coming upon us. Not that I am part of the traditional imbibing and such but others are whether green or whatever colour the spirits may be. The luck of the Irish…I wonder if that is felt in their own country with all the pomp and ceremony from places outside of the originated folklore. It’s pretty crazy how a day is taken and made into something beyond the original intent.

However, I live it and watch it unfold as my middle granddaughter who loves loves loves tradition, holidays and special times of the year has taken St. Patty’s day as being serious celebration. Her take but nevertheless a celebration in her wondrous mind. Too young to know all its ins and outs for sure, but it is important for her to get a nibble of the lay of the land of St. Patrick’s Day in her wee life. So I smile as I think of her prep as she designed, made and then set a trap to catch the elusive leprechaun. Bless her heart. She has even put a pot of gold (shiny coloured paper coins) to draw the little guy in. Her questions are many and answers are few but oh my, her spirit is ready to believe. What a beautiful way to see the world with such joy and delight! Go little one, you got this.

The Irish traditions and authors of their time have such a way with ways and words. I enjoy reading the blessings that they have written and the delightful tales of Irish luck and blarney. And of course the way the Irish speak with a lilt and brogue I cannot for the life of me decipher at times. It is kind of like here on the island with some of the islanders with their strong local lingo. I guess we all have our own way of speaking and usage born to us. But regardless, the Irish blessings have a way of seeping into one’s inner most heart and soul.

So today I leave a thought from the Irish

May you have not frost on your spuds, no worms on your cabbage, may your goat give your plenty of milk and if you inherit a donkey, make she be in foal.

May you live as long as you want, and never want as long as you live.

There are good ships and wood ships. The ships that sail the seas. But the best are friendships and may they always be.

Always remember to forget the troubles that passed away. But never forget to remember, the blessings that come each day.

May the grace of God’s protection and His great love abide; within your heart and within your home, of all who dwell inside.

Let us pray for those who are in need and for the blessings in our life. Amen

Oh February

With mixed feelings you come in. The moon was full and bright as it shed its luminous light upon the world around me last evening. I have to say that the last part of January was quite a trek of cold, mild, storm and all in between. But alas winter has its moments and you the February month of 2026 will of course hold court in your own way. What do you hold for us? A rhetorical question if I have ever expressed. LOL. You will be you and me and others will be ourselves.

There is no point in dwelling on the what ifs or what could be but only the here and now. Looking outside today, snow ladened blanket, cloudy and cold, it is winter and going to continue to be winter. Thankfully as I take out the recycling stuff to the bin outside, it is not as cold as it has been, touch wood. Hmmmm. I wonder where that expression came from? Has wood been considered to be some kind of lucky charm like the four leaf clover phenomenon or something like that? Regardless, my folks said it and as tradition holds, I still do.

What kind of month will you be as you unfold? You can’t just be about the weather. Nope. You are more than your physicality!!! I mean Ground Hog day is tomorrow, Feb 2. Will the groundhog see its shadow or not? That in itself is the wishful thinking day where if Shubenacadie Sam, Manitoba Merv, Fred la Marmotte, Balzac Billy or Wiarton Willie (depending on the Canadian neck of the woods you are from) sees its shadow, a longer winter; if not, an early spring. Here on the island, we have not had a ridiculous amount of crazy winter but in some parts of Canada, holy guacamole, they have. I pray for good news.

Then we have the all time day of love as it shines its generous heart while the 14th draws near. Happy Valentine’s Day. The wonderment in the acts and words given out through one’s love language in exchanging cards, love articulated, gifts given, or putting one’s feelings out there in the hope of yes…will you be my Valentine. Woohoo. Oh, to feel from another to be loved, young or old. Yeah?? Ah the delight of the warm fuzzies within. You just never know.

Now to the avid sports fans, the heart pumping arms a flailing scream shouting roar, probably a loved craze more than Valentine fury is Super Bowl Sunday. Yep. Don’t be calling your best bud because they are out to lunch, off the grid, locked in to that far off den-pub-basement-stands-to be calm cool and collected. Nope. That is all I can say about that one.

Enjoy those chocolates or candy and Pancake Mardi Gras Tuesday for Lent will be here before you know it. With Ash Wednesday taking the lead, it will be the mark of the faithful to lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil for the much needed quiet and discernment trek for 40 days in the desert of our Christian lives. Taking on or letting go, repenting or refreshing, It might not hurt to put in a prayer or more, fast a bit, and give of oneself in otherness. Not a bad way to go.

I think February. Just as an aside, I have to say why does the spelling of February need the r after the b instead just read buary. Probably because it is a brrrrr month. Shorten it to br. Anwyay, I think February has some other notable observances like Black History Month, Heart Month and Pink Shirt Day, National Flag day (I like our flag strong and true), Ramadan begins. And then comes the beautiful one for me, Family Day.

Family. A simple word that comes with big heartfelt panoramic swath of memories of pure love for me around my family. To celebrate family whether it is called Family Day, Island Day (that’s me now) , Heritage Day or Louis Riel Day, is a humbling honour. It may bring about all kinds of feelings from joy and happiness to an emotional time of deep grief and loss this year. But it is there, this day, to take pause with the people, biological or chosen, to reflect and hold fast all that they are to you and I. Family is not an important thing, it is everything. Yes I even include the four legged ones too. I miss you so much mom and dad and also you too four legged furry paw ones Maggie May, Marble, and Luna (miss you).

Here’s to you February 2026, to be a good one for all. Blessings.

Let us pray for those in need of our prayers this day and for the special days to come upon us in ways everlasting. Amen.

Birthday Lesson

There is a humbling within one’s heart that comes in the gift of beautiful gestures by others when one’s birthday comes. Yesterday I was taken aback in the most glorious and unassuming way by an unexpectedness. An unpredicted gift of precious moments that I felt again and again as the day ensued. I felt a love, a tearful joy, a laughter, a thoughtfulness that goes beyond measure. Gratefulness cannot begin to express in words the feelings that took over me.

Funnily enough, I am not one to celebrate me as my daughters and siblings can attest to. LOL. I kind of like to go under the radar so to speak. Not sure why that is, but it is something I have always felt and done for most of my adult life. And yet, when it comes to others, I am readily a giver of trying my best to make sure people I have come to know, know they are thought of with love, including on their birthdays. Oh what a lesson I am coming to learn so much, oh family and friends of thine by true.

That old scriptural passage in Exodus 33:17 where God calls to Moses, “I know you by name” became clearer. Warm wishes, homemade cards, loving chats, heartfelt messages, breakfast made, welcomed hugs, thoughtful gifts and all in between from those near and far…made me teary eyed and warm inside. To all who celebrate their birthdays, know you are known by name. Blessings.

Let us pray for those who are need of our prayers this day and for those who need to know that you are known by name. Amen.

What if I have had it?

Honest to goodness. Sometimes one finds themselves listening to a piece of thinking that gets you to pause abruptly. This morning I was listening to a video clip of a radio host interviewing Graham Norton, a British TV host of celebrities. The interviewer asked his guest about a life lesson moment in his childhood. So he recalled a scene from one of the many Charlie Brown TV series episodes with Lucy and Charlie Brown. Norton described a scene where Lucy espoused her 7 or 8 year old psychiatric help wisdom of so many years from her doctor is IN chair, telling Charlie that he will really only have one happiest moment in his life. The rest of the moments would only be basically blah ordinary moments. And of course Charlie Brown being Charlie Brown, he agreed with her. Balderdash, Charlie Brown. Hahaha.

Although I guess as a 7 year old child at the time, Graham Norton felt ‘what if I have had it already?’ kind of devastating thought. I mean let’s face it, Lucy could be quite convincing with her verbose grasp of big words. So. Was that it? No more chances of the happiest moment in the future?? The rest of his life lived experiences would only have that half empty cup of a quasi kind of sort of maybe a little feeling of being the most happiest. Argh!!

Can you imagine? For all of those times in your own life that you have had those blissful, out of the park, euphoric, jumping for joy, in seventh heaven kinds of spine tingling moments of feeling head to toe happy, they were not?? So what was the feeling? Because according to Lucy, you may only get one and you may already have experienced it!!?? Thank goodness Lucy, for you the doctor is OUT. So out.

I agree with Graham Norton’s discernment, that throughout our life from then until now, our happiest moment has not happened yet. How can it? There is still more to come, God willing. The ‘what if I have had it’ already mantra cannot be true. I mean how can I feel such wondrous and joyous happy feeling moments over and over again. For in that short period of time, a sense of pure unadulterated joy goes through me and I feel a shiver me timbers crazy whoa Nelly. A graced sacred happy moment… a blessing.

So as Thanksgiving draws near, I am grateful and thankful for being given a life full of moments whatever and wherever they are. And so looking forward to knowing that I have not had it as yet my happiest moment but oh so humbled by what I have felt so far and to come. Asante sana my family and friends and surroundings. Blessings this day.

Let us pray for those in need of our prayers today and for the happiness, boldness and strength every day for with you Lord, all things are possible. Amen.

Autumn Splendour

I think I like the colour autumn. I recently read that somewhere on a thread as September comes a calling where a random post asked what colour people liked and one person said ‘autumn’. I had to smile at that because it made so much sense to me. Yes I like autumn as a colour as it gives off such a bloom of brilliance. The breadth and depth of autumn’s hues is unbelievably majestic. So next to my favourites of blues, I am taking autumn as my new favourite colour…a burst of warmth and freshness.

Welcome October as you bring in your dramatic changes to the world around. This time of year is all about coziness. Getting out the sweater or hoodie, tucking in the chin from the wind off the sea and not sweating after a good brisk morning trek. Ah it is so wondrous a feeling. It is like a dried water fall that wraps around you, rejuvenating and lively, heightening all of your senses. It is almost too much to take in as the wonder and awe of autumn splendour permeates anywhere and everywhere.

What is it about the fall that feels glorious!? The land around here is taking on the farmers loving touch as it reaps in the harvest of their late spring efforts coming now to fruition. The fields will soon take on the red ribbed lines and the green of greens will slowly dull to a weathered-worn look until the snow flies. Oops. I cannot go there.

I am going to enjoy the blessing of this weather that we have been having. Although the rain has been minimal, the sun shine that glistens upon the waters and autumns heavenly hues brings a joy to one’s heart. Thank you October for continuing the glorious days from September’s wake of autumn’s grandeur. From your opening of the day to the closing at the day’s end. Peace.

Let us pray for those in need of our prayers this day. Amen.

Quiet of the Morn

A beautiful morning awaits as I trek down the road toward the picturesque harbour setting. It never gets old as I take in the silence and picturesqueness of the early hours this day. Every where I look, I see signs of life. Still in its presence but a sight to behold as I amble along the way of the road. God’s creation of awesomeness. There are times I cannot catch my breath as I try to take it all in, the sights and sounds of my surroundings. Is it not remarkable how nature just knows how to put things together, placing its natural state into an art form that cannot always be captured by the human hand or eye? But I try.

Me I try to have my phone with me for the most part as I never know what grabs my attention. Like today, I stopped a few times along my walk, interrupting my pace of briskness. Click. Click. Oh yes, and click again. LOL. I mean stopping to smell the roses is just that…stopping and pausing. Taking in what is before me. Different frames await in my amateurish attempt at expressing what I see. It is not just see but feel. It is splendour delightfully so.

As I pass the jelly-bean coloured fishing buildings at the river source, the water is almost at rest. Very little ripple touches the pier and lobster boat hauls as they anchor silently on either side of the local wharf’s edge. The tide is in too which means it must be in the middle of the month. Looking over the still water, a translucent mist holds itself over the top of the water which adds an eerie allure to daybreak. Hmmmm.

I wonder what today will bring. I am in humbly in gratitude this day. Blessings.

Let us pray for those who need our prayers especially the recent happenings of fire spreading and beloved losses of lives in the respective communities of Manitoba and Texas. Amen

Oh Dad! A Father’s Manual

Your day is here. Lovely. I mean everyday is dad’s day in some ways (according to some which of course I am not mentioning any names…Dad). But its this day, the dedicated day, to all fathers young and old alike. I cannot believe it has been almost a year since you left me, us, the family, to go see mom!! I mean you could have given her just a hot minute to herself in her heavenly jaunt but no can do. Oh, dad, I miss you. I miss your stories, your little side smirks when you are ready to pull another leg, your off key singing, your words of wisdom in that craggily voice of yours even when I am trying really hard not to cringe or roll my eyes….again. Haha. Remember dad, “shoot me now”. It’s my way of saying, rip the bandage off and just say it. My bottom got quite sore for many an hour as you taaaaallllllkkkked. But seriously most of all I miss your presence, the safe net with strong loving arms to hold me, making me believe all will be okay. Although, mom’s arms were a wee bit more. Oops. Sorry.

Just recently, your oldest daughter was going through some old boxes of yours and came across something I wrote to you on your birthday, the year that I retired. It started out saying, “I was wondering if there was a manual that came with you dad? It must have been a page turner as you navigated through our early years, teen years, and adult years up to now during the midlife years of your four children.” Could there be such a manual? For there is no scripted clear cut one for parenting that I could find over the years for my own needs as a mother. Maybe I was looking in the wrong section of the book store because Hit and Miss, Maybe This Might Work, Holy Moly Are You Kidding Me, Because I Said So, Go To Your Room, If It Fails Don’t Try Again, Give Me Strength, Your Grounded. Yikes!! I don’t think I ever used the book “Wait Till Your Father Gets Home” but hey, desperate words call for desperate measures.

So what would the manual say for you dad, in particular, as I cannot speak for the general populace of father figures in the lives of others.

Instructions For Being My Dad (our dad too).

Firstly, curb the lecture notes. Under 10 minutes is ample. I got it the first time. Or maybe was it was the second time.

Secondly, if your said child wants to nap, then let her. I mean a little two year old can sleep wherever she lies, even under a chair. Or when older, one can only listen for so long. Did you know you have a voice that puts one to sleep?

Thirdly, remember that when someone is riding a tricycle beside your newly painted car that she could be wobbly. Be calm. And for goodness sake, put rubber handles on the handle bars.

Fourthly, children like to play house. A wee bit of water in a bowl on your newly stained shelving unit you just made, not fully dry, you have to count to ten, not three. Patience is a virtue.

Fifthly. have the right and wrong list for your daughter to live by in triplicate because she does need guidance. But refrain from using the phrase of “Because I told you so” too often.

6. Remember to not get upset when all presents have been unwrapped the night before Christmas morning. Kids will be kids. It was not me, dad. Just saying.

7. As for music, there is more to life than country and Sunday gospel music and grandpa’s, your dad’s, eye-brow raising little ditties.

8. When we leave from a down home vacation in the Maritimes, let your child cry. Those are sad happy tears of not wanting to leave. Ergo, she has now moved there.

9. When family winter outings take place, keep the wieners and beans as a staple for the campfire.

10. Teach your child how to fish but not always have to eat it….ever.

11. Sometimes let your child share their wisdom or get a word in edgewise because your child did learn from the best.

12. Its okay to give a thought or two about who your child should be with, a life partner. The lectures are good enough – no long hair, no fast cars, no druggies. (even when it does not work out).

13. As grandchildren come along, love them minus the longer talks, lectures, whatever you want to call them. You want them to come back.

14. Don’t forget to say “Its good to hear your voice” when your child calls.

15. Your child has a mind of their own. I wonder from whom. Hmmmm. So when they say they are going to leave to go home…no guilt trips of stay for two weeks, a month…..

16. And finally no matter where you are, your child loves you forever and always.

Love you dad,

Karen