Or vice versa. How many times does one say no in the day. If I am by myself, do I? Well I do as my dog seems to need a no or two. She gets into things while I am gone out for a bit and I come back and find garbage bag contents strewn all over the place. Do I not feed you enough dog of mine? Apparently not. Or when I forget to bring doggie bags and she wants to go number 2 on closest grass blade. Meanwhile the neighour is out cutting his lawn. Sheesh. My eyes bug out as I am pulling on her lead and saying to her, no no no. Are you kidding me!!
Better yet, I ask my granddaughter if she needs to go potty? Nope. We get in the car and decides she needs to go. Is there a gas station close by? No. Tim’s? No. Mall? Definitely not. Side of road. Yep. Well convincing her it is okay. Talking her through it as it is her first time to relieve herself in this way with no stool, potty seat or a book. Well I guess my arms are okay as my foot becomes the stool. Oh and yes, I need to wash my feet when I get home for apparently we do not know how to aim downward.
I think about all the no’s that come out of my mouth during a typical day. Sometimes I wonder if no has another meaning besides N.O. Do they sound like yes to my grandkids? Yep. The look in their eyes as they ask for something or want to do something. I have to laugh. Grandparents probably give parents a bad rep. I think about my own grandparents especially on my dad’s side; mom’s mom was a bit too strict. Sorry Grandma S. When we went to visit the farm of my dad’s parents in New Brunswick we got a freedom like no other to run all over. Loved it. Grandpa would say, let them go to my dad. Wow!! Don’t remember alot of nadas. LOL Especially with dessert at breakfast!! Are you kidding me!! Whoever heard of cakes and cookies at the breakfast table. Never. But at grandparents farm table, a plate was placed right in the middle for all to see and EAT. So dad, why on earth did you not bring that tradition to our table!!! I guess my grandpa loved his sweets as well as eating a pat of butter off his knife. Ew, grandpa. Desserts. Yes. Butter pat. No way.
Needless to say, going to the Best Western in Cornwall ON and having their continental breakfast with a few dessert like foods, well count me in. Funnily I did not put that tradition into practice in my home with my own daughters growing up. Why I wonder? But I guess sugar laden cereals would be considered a good compromise. And of course, the once-a-year treat of pop tarts on Christmas morning. I love love love cherry pop tarts. I still do that to this day minus cherry as it is not available in Canada it appears.
Maybe perspective changes as you get older. I don’t get hung up on so much about certain things which probably does not bode well for the parents of my grandkids. It is hard to say no at times but when I do, no is no. It is not YES. How to say no and mean it. It is not a mean no like the Grinch but it is a no out of love. Well don’t love me so much. Hahaha.
There are certain times that no has to be heard. I do not like the feeling of my heart dropping to my feet. For Instance, when my youngest took off in Sears one time and hid in the carousel clothing racks. There are no words to describe the panic. I almost bought a leash after that. Not funny. Or when my own girls or grandkids as little mites would be going for a walk next to the road and boom. They see something and veer off to the busy street. The world is their oyster and they just go. Traffic does not mean squat to them. No fear. Yeah, that is a hard NO. Or near water. How to teach respect for water, melted or frozen.
When I was first married, kidless, we had a skidoo and took off on the ice. Where we lived up in northern Ontario, the rivers and lakes were insured for a period of time in the winter months as it got so cold and ice was thick. So not thinking, literally, we took off on the lake which turned into a river. There was a man flapping his arms on the shore which thankfully we happened to look up and stopped the ski doo. Just before us, there was open water, Deep actually as I recall. Needless to say, it would have been a horrible turn of events because the ski doo would have gone through, us too, and the river was moving below the ice. Not going there but thank the Lord. Anyway going on the frozen water, especially black ice, lesson learned.
Yes there are times when I could let something happen even though I know it could hurt the person. But there are hard NO scenarios that are not up for discussion. I mean lets face it, the manipulation skill set of kids, big or small, are good at turning a no into a yes. Been there done that a few times. No handbook on no’s and yes’s. They nag and pester and keep after you until they drive you up the wall. Even pit one parent against the other and being a simple human being with only so much no-ing, no eventually turns into a deep sighed yes. I failed them. Grrrrrr. But alas, as Rara, my grandma nickname, I smile now. For what goes around comes around. My daughters are experiencing their own ‘no does not mean yes.’
It is not easy finding the happy medium. I am thinking no is more common than yes on any given day. I wonder if one could hook up to a recorder and it tabulates, like a fitbit, the no’s vs yes’s in a typical day. Which word would come up more? And in that, the significance of the no and yes. A no for the sake of no, or an adamant no because it is where you stand on a particular issue, situation, etc. And then the other scenario whereby no turns into yes or the yes turns into a no. Such a conundrum. It is not easy being green.
Such a little word but it packs a big punch. Sometimes you just don’t want to hear a no. I am sure you can think of many instances whereby you are counting on a different answer. How to say no, or yes, and it really is heard? Probably simply standing firm when you say it. Or if you are not solid on your thought, then hold back, pause a minute, and maybe put on hold….like “I’ll get back to you.” Or “I don’t know.” Mind you, teasing a person with no or yes creates confusion too. Does the person really mean no or yes? I certainly know that feeling.
Even as an adult in own relationships with friends or significant other or family members, there is a working background going on when a no or yes is said. Even when we want to say no, or yes, we don’t always say what we really mean or want to do. Why is that? I realize there are moments that you do not want to do something and you do it anyway. And at the end you say you are so glad you did. Or not. LOL.
Well whether it is a no or yes, don’t confuse the receiver including oneself. Instead of the knee jerk response of no or yes, it might be more palatable with a maybe. A bit of hope, some time to think and then say what you mean and mean what you say. Naturally there will be some concrete fast no’s and yes’s because of the given circumstances but a perhaps or possibly’s can be added into the mix of responses. And there are times, when you want to say no or yes but whatever is going on inside of you or in your life, you have to say what you say. Practice what one preaches.
But for now grandkids and kids, I have a few emphatic no’s and yes’s.
Nada, nah, no way, not on your life, never ever…
Eating my cherry pop tarts.
Being unkind.
Not telling the truth.
Not listening
Yeah, yep, all right, okey-dokey, that’s affirmative
Eating your vegetables.
Loving one another
Hugging unless sick (not strangers)
Helping others
One thing I do know about no and yes, don’t get caught in lala land. Pay attention to what is going on. Because seriously I can be preoccupied and not be paying attention and respond without actually listening. Yeah, that is not so good either. LOL. Goodness. Over a simple little word, Blessings.
Let us pray for those who are in need of our prayers today. We pray to the Lord.
Karenpondering 