Your day is here. Lovely. I mean everyday is dad’s day in some ways (according to some which of course I am not mentioning any names…Dad). But its this day, the dedicated day, to all fathers young and old alike. I cannot believe it has been almost a year since you left me, us, the family, to go see mom!! I mean you could have given her just a hot minute to herself in her heavenly jaunt but no can do. Oh, dad, I miss you. I miss your stories, your little side smirks when you are ready to pull another leg, your off key singing, your words of wisdom in that craggily voice of yours even when I am trying really hard not to cringe or roll my eyes….again. Haha. Remember dad, “shoot me now”. It’s my way of saying, rip the bandage off and just say it. My bottom got quite sore for many an hour as you taaaaallllllkkkked. But seriously most of all I miss your presence, the safe net with strong loving arms to hold me, making me believe all will be okay. Although, mom’s arms were a wee bit more. Oops. Sorry.
Just recently, your oldest daughter was going through some old boxes of yours and came across something I wrote to you on your birthday, the year that I retired. It started out saying, “I was wondering if there was a manual that came with you dad? It must have been a page turner as you navigated through our early years, teen years, and adult years up to now during the midlife years of your four children.” Could there be such a manual? For there is no scripted clear cut one for parenting that I could find over the years for my own needs as a mother. Maybe I was looking in the wrong section of the book store because Hit and Miss, Maybe This Might Work, Holy Moly Are You Kidding Me, Because I Said So, Go To Your Room, If It Fails Don’t Try Again, Give Me Strength, Your Grounded. Yikes!! I don’t think I ever used the book “Wait Till Your Father Gets Home” but hey, desperate words call for desperate measures.
So what would the manual say for you dad, in particular, as I cannot speak for the general populace of father figures in the lives of others.
Instructions For Being My Dad (our dad too).
Firstly, curb the lecture notes. Under 10 minutes is ample. I got it the first time. Or maybe was it was the second time.
Secondly, if your said child wants to nap, then let her. I mean a little two year old can sleep wherever she lies, even under a chair. Or when older, one can only listen for so long. Did you know you have a voice that puts one to sleep?
Thirdly, remember that when someone is riding a tricycle beside your newly painted car that she could be wobbly. Be calm. And for goodness sake, put rubber handles on the handle bars.
Fourthly, children like to play house. A wee bit of water in a bowl on your newly stained shelving unit you just made, not fully dry, you have to count to ten, not three. Patience is a virtue.
Fifthly. have the right and wrong list for your daughter to live by in triplicate because she does need guidance. But refrain from using the phrase of “Because I told you so” too often.
6. Remember to not get upset when all presents have been unwrapped the night before Christmas morning. Kids will be kids. It was not me, dad. Just saying.
7. As for music, there is more to life than country and Sunday gospel music and grandpa’s, your dad’s, eye-brow raising little ditties.
8. When we leave from a down home vacation in the Maritimes, let your child cry. Those are sad happy tears of not wanting to leave. Ergo, she has now moved there.
9. When family winter outings take place, keep the wieners and beans as a staple for the campfire.
10. Teach your child how to fish but not always have to eat it….ever.
11. Sometimes let your child share their wisdom or get a word in edgewise because your child did learn from the best.
12. Its okay to give a thought or two about who your child should be with, a life partner. The lectures are good enough – no long hair, no fast cars, no druggies. (even when it does not work out).
13. As grandchildren come along, love them minus the longer talks, lectures, whatever you want to call them. You want them to come back.
14. Don’t forget to say “Its good to hear your voice” when your child calls.
15. Your child has a mind of their own. I wonder from whom. Hmmmm. So when they say they are going to leave to go home…no guilt trips of stay for two weeks, a month…..
16. And finally no matter where you are, your child loves you forever and always.
Love you dad,
Karen
Karenpondering 