I am not sure where to start but know that the image of you, mom, with dad at your side as he looked at you with love and intent, holding your hand, I will remember that forever. As well as knowing you were surrounded by all of us your loved ones as you left us this day. So I thank you mom for giving me life. And being my steadfast rock forever. I am eternally grateful to you and I love you.

At 10:09 am yesterday morning (or 9:09 am Ontario time) when a woman, a nurse dressed in dark blue apparel, turned to my brother as he held his iPhone so I could be with mom and family and said with a nod, “she passed.” Then looked over at my dad and gently said, “she’s gone.” What!!! I mean she had just bent over my mom with her stethoscope, moving it all over her upper body. My brother and I were talking while I looked at my mom. I understood afterward but not in that very moment. Throat full of tears of love and disbelief and joy and whatever in between, my mom passed away peacefully. No words but a cacophony of emotions and images washed over me. My mom died at 9:10 am on her birthday with my dad holding her hand.

I had just asked my brother “did mom’s breathing change?” “No”, he said. It did not because it had already stopped. Oh oh oh mom. I am so very grateful to my brother and sister using their technology to connect me and my youngest sister so we could be with mom as she passed away peacefully yesterday morning. We were all together her children, spouse, sister and of course ever faithfully dad. (Some decisions like moving far away during times like these, sucks big time). So technology, you rock. Best best best gift to give her and us. Over the course of the last few days and ending on her birthday, we were with mom, ma, mother. Wrapped in love she was washed in words and touch pouring out from each of our hearts.

Its okay mom….your good.

Oh mom you came into the world, not sure if you were crying loudly or not, but you left this world as God held you gently and so lovingly in a peaceful way. The quiet gentle, and yes sassy too at times, woman (daughter, wife, mom, grandma, great grandma, sister, aunt, friend) who passed with a grace and dignity you so deserve. Beloved and liked of anyone who has met you. You looked so content, with your head turned to your life partner who has been at your side for over 67 years and looking at you so intently, you passed peacefully. Oh mom! Oh dad! Thank you Lord. I am humbly grateful.

Hey mom. You got to turn 29 again on the 29th. LOL. You are a rascal. You held on, didn’t you and we celebrated you of birth and death. God works in mysterious ways. Great plan, mom. Not sure how that happens in terms of aging as you know my own three daughters are 30 and over and your other four grandkids in their 20’s, and even your three great grandchildren in the mix. But hey mom, it’s your gig. Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday dear mom, Happy Birthday to you. You did it!! And your middle great granddaughter will continue on with you as she celebrated yours and her day. I’ll tell her one day your story that happened on your 87th and her 5th birthday.

I had no idea of how things work when one leaves this earth. But honestly watching my mom struggle with her breathing, as she has been on oxygen for the last few months, and then last Monday getting a phone call at 4 in the morning from my oldest sister, “mom is now in palliative care’…..what does that mean? It was hard to wrap my head around. I know the word palliative but I needed plain English. It is her time. Seriously, no. I have been praying to God to bring peace to my mom for awhile. But in the moment it is happening, one is not prepared. Is anyone? Crazy and trying to be calm would be the operative struggle within.

The ups and downs inside the heart and mind, wondering and waiting and not wanting and hoping. What does one feel! It does not matter because life and death are inevitable. One day, one step, one breath at a time. For me, I did not want her to suffer now and any more. No more. She was slipping and thought last Tuesday it was it. Then holy moly, my sister calls on Wednesday and says, guess what! Mom is up and eating and chatting away (slurred speech mind you but hey I would take it.) What in the holy goodness! But it was her last hurrah. Mom held on until her birthday and left this earth to be with God in heaven.

Mom, I love you. See you later. Blessings.

Let us pray for those dearly departed and those whom are in need of our prayers.

PS To my own daughters and to my family who brought their strength and love. Bless your hearts.

And to the staff at the nursing home, a great appreciation of your dedication, knowledge, and caring for mom, thank you.

Well every day is a celebration. I watch nightly news for the Atlantic provinces and they have this section where people send in big celebrations to be shared. Well today marks my parents 67th wedding anniversary. Holy moly blessings and all!! What a testament to being together!!! They have certainly given witness to commitment, dedication and foolishness. Oops. That slipped out. No mom and dad, not foolishness but wonderfully in awe especially with dad having your ear mom. LOL.

All I can say is what a journey! It always amazes me how two people end up with each other. Never mind that they are together for a long period of time. What does it take? Just like parenting, lots of books on the subject but no golden ruler or set of instructions. Yes one takes vows but unfortunately things don’t always turn out the way you think they will.

But, I remember the story of how my parents met. My mom was with her friends at a dance and my dad was with his but a mutual friend introduced them. Anyway, my mom just finished dancing with a young man who was shorter than mom which she did not like. So when dad approached my mom who was sitting on the bleachers, my dad asked her for the next dance. Mom looked at my dad and said, “how tall are you?” And dad said, not surprisingly, “Tall enough.” Talk about cheeky. Obviously they hit it off because the two planned for dad to pick mom up the next day and go visit good friends of his. Now dad had dropped off mom the previous night but it was dark. Not too many lights on her street and the houses kind of looked the same. He had an idea of where mom could be. Anyway he drove down the street in the early morning looking for anything familiar. He did not. Dad had passed her home and did not even know it. He was just about to leave when he looked in rear view mirror once more and there stood mom outside on her porch. And the rest they say is history.

So to you mom and dad on this day and for all the other older loves that have found themselves celebrating such a wondrous journey. I am in awe and wonder in the sacredness of a love that endures. Maybe survives is a better word. No. I think endures or everlasting. It is a daily love to me. Right? A love that holds in the ordinary day, taking a toll by life lived but still persists through the nooks and crannies of living together, children or not, thick and thin, of the daily. The shiny newness of newly wedded bliss becomes less shiny as the years pass. But in that somehow the kernels of the vows said and given to each other hold steadfast.

I’m sure one can ask all kinds of couples how have they done it. And the responses would be far and wide, a whole gamut of words of wisdom for staying the course together. Being together. Lasting. If I think of the Scripture passage from 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 ⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Is it love only? I think it is so much more. But who am I to say and certainly not the AI question and answer expressionless response either. For me, go directly to the source. The couples celebrating. Who else? What a gift to bestow and share. And to you mom and dad, thank you. Blessings.

Let us pray for those who are in need of our prayers today and for those who are celebrating an enduring togetherness. Amen

Until it is missing. Your heart knows what your heart knows and there is nothing like coming home. Lord, it is good to be home even if the gifts given and received in being away were beyond measure. But it’s that cozy comforting feeling within the very soul of your being that I find myself nestling into that very space I left for a wee bit of time. Coming home to sit a spell in all that is familiar. As Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz says as she clicks her red satin shoes together, “there is no place like home.”

What a time with family and friends!! Woohoo. Helping out, holding hands, kabutzing, story telling, walking, playing, driving, celebrating, hugging, listening and laughing, crying and all the in between. The whole gamut of emotions and feelings as I engaged fully in the spirit of love and friendship with those who are in my life. In that I can hardly express my deepest gratitude for the gifts freely given in each person I walked with for a few moments of time over the last few weeks. Walk or talk, sit or stand, best days to hold onto and tuck away in my treasure trove of awesome goodness.

It is so interesting to me how home has such a reverence to it. A sacredness that you feel as you walk through your own door, greeted with the familiarity and contentment greeting you heart and mind. I literally did a little jig, prancing around because I could. LOL. Good thing it was only my dog Maggie May with me. She gets me and does not make a comment at all. You got to love unconditional love. Of course, she is in her element too as my youngest and kind hearted sister and family took care of my pup while away. There she is acting like a young pup, jumping out of the truck, taking a quick gander of her yard and then into her home, up and down the stairs, pushing her nose into nooks and crannies….then plops herself on the back of the couch. There…done…all is good for her.

What I find odd and funny because although I was born and raised in Ontario I have always had a home feeling too visiting the Maritimes as that being where my dad was born and raised before trekking to Ontario. Yet, something about his home as my family referred to as ‘going down home’ each summer was truly my second home away from home. And then many many many moons later I find myself retiring in the Maritimes which turns out to be home. Why? Not sure. But when I cross the bridge and see the red soil, it is a rich earthy feeling of it calling me home. Yet, one is reminded that anyone not born here are referred to as from ‘away’. I do chuckle at that.

However, home is where the heart is. A totally appropriate title from a TV series and describes my musings too. They have it right as home comes in different faces and places. My heart is so full when…..Dad giving me a hug, the familiar smell of him. Don’t worry dad it is not a bad smell, just a dad smell. Him telling and retelling tales of old over and over again. Sometimes, I can tell it better. Just saying. And then my mom. Oh my mom. Holding her hand is home even though she cannot squeeze it anymore, so filled with crippling arthritis. Staring at her beautiful face, hoping upon hope, as I visit her at the nursing home, she shows ‘mom’ of her being home to me, albeit so short-lived moments, the smirks, the laugh, the mom look. Oh I so miss that mom. Coupled with the plethora of interactions from the joyful presents of presence as my family and friends gave me a piece of home…themselves.

Wonderfully enough I got to experience homes newly building up and becoming home. From my oldest sharing her new digs after many months of trying to find a rental. Sidebar. What is the ever loving world are landlords thinking to charge crazy crazy!!! And then my youngest getting a much needed change of home and I got to help her organize…tired pup. Moms get to invade homes too. LOL. To my cousin having set up camp in a totally renovated home by his own hands, as he proudly shows his home and created a lifestyle befit for cozy and living life fully. Woohoo to all. And then to a bit of a facelift at my sister’s place, seeing paint bring light within the walls. Literally. That is definitely a yahoo to the woo. Whether the walls of home to the road taking one home or the ever loving feeling of home, you gotta love coming home.

So today home, you wrap yourself around my heart and squeeze the livin’ bijeebees out of me and I feel it from top to bottom, sole to noggin’. Yep. Blessings.

Let us pray for those who are in need of prayers and hope today. Amen.

Yes I am. I am a WIP and know that to be true. But I think most of us are as we journey through this wondrous life. A little profound so early in the morning. Well I was up early and already out for a walk. Goodness gracious I love the sun rising early. Can’t you just feel it? Fresh and invigorating as you take a deep breath and arms wide open. You bet. And I did that on my walk today as my dog did her morning routine of sniff, then leg raise, then sniff and then…oops a clump of snow. It needs a new colour. Ah yes, bright yellow. the best of the best Maggie May. You are so kind to nature. Yes, I am realizing that my legs may be getting exercise but what should I do with my arms? Move them and breathe at the same time. I seem to be having trouble with that coordination. Hence, I am a WIP.

There are so many acronyms out there I cannot keep up with them. And if you try to guess what they are, you could be bang on or not even close to guessing. It is probably easier to create acronyms or even abbreviations of words because of the long title or common phrase of something but holy moly when does it stop. Never mind that the shift in the written word, like how to write using proper English slips a bit as you read public ( or even personal for that matter) displays of thoughts. Look all around the immediate space from signs, articles, newspapers, ads, books and so on. What happened to good old fashion words!? It is already a challenge for many to get the correct spelling and now? Well, take a look at the last text message or note you were sent. It is not an anagram puzzle to be deciphered people.

But hey its all good. Right? I remember getting the Friday night special from Kentucky Fried Chicken when I was younger. I loved Friday evenings as it was the day of the week where nothing was planned for the ‘whats on the menu’ for supper. It was a family effort of goodness and deliciousness. Homemade pizzas (boy you got that down pat mom and dad), Chinese (well except those hard string things), fish and dollar fries (who knew the toonie shape would taste great for fries), and Kentucky Fried Chicken. The delights of treaty foods. Yum to the tum. But seriously when did it become KFC? I bet if you asked random people, would they be able to tell you what KFC stands for? Or when did some acronyms become a word?? Can you tell me that, asap?

Jargon. The thing is workplace jargon makes sense to have some acronyms. If you have to repeat yourself over and over again, well the talking becomes like the written word back in the day with shorthand. What happened to long hand? Never mind. But the thing is if you are new to the job, you look like a deer in head lights as the acronyms are bandied about. I was watching this comedian doing a set on acronyms in the workplace. It was hilarious. ROFL. Get it….rolling on the floor laughing kind of funny. I mean LOL is so last year. See, I bet you didn’t even bat an eye.

Probably it is the cell phone and social media like facebook or twitter or instgram or maybe even tiktok that kicked started the rage. But it is not just a fad. Goodness. It is already difficult enough to engage in a face to face chat when the cell phone has now become attached to the hand. Robocop, your on. Never mind teaching young ones how to spell words! Now there is a lesson or ten for all teachers out there. Eduspeak. Oops. Educational jargon literacy speak to address the way of communicating.

BTW I would really like to be more IRL. At least IMHO. But I realize that YSK when you write a lengthy message it is TL, DR. And I have to just SMH as for most people in the social media realm its NBD. But hey, GL with that. Anyway I realize that most of this is OMH and so I need to suck it up butter cup. Haha. Get a social media dictionary as I am sure I cannot rely on Websters or Merriam or Oxford. They maybe too old school. Yikes! Is this how the good old days started?

So getting back to me being a WIP. I am. I am a work in progress. A friend of mine recently said that about themselves and I in turn naturally had to ask…What! No I am not going to use the letter combination that others may use (swearing is not my thing). But I am not going to pretend what I am reading. Are you kidding!! I need to keep up with these new generations of GenX, Millennials, IGen, and Generation of Alpha, especially as a mother and grandma. Never mind on the ball friends and family. If you can’t beat them, join them. Right?

So for 2day, I am going to say B4N and maybe TTYL. Blessings.

Let us pray for all those who are in need of our prayers today. Amen

There is so much yuckiness going on in our world. I cannot even begin to comprehend the magnitude of how much suffering, sadness, mindless destruction, hurt, devastation, abuse and greed that takes place each day. Fear, loneliness, hatred seep in causing a murky darkness that pervades the nooks and crannies of people’s lives. A hopelessness draws you in as you helplessly at times are trying to seek out answers, making sense to a nonsensical world. The why of what I witness takes its toll to something beyond my own limited experiences. Dreams shattered of the young and old, loss and hardship multiply, our common home and community dwindle, and the cost of living skyrocket. Oh to have food on the table.

A few days ago I read from our diocese web page that Pope Francis is making this year, a School of Prayer year. What a faithlift!! I like that idea. Giving rest to the weary soul who seeks comfort and strength in times of need and delight to the graces bestowed undeservedly. I am but one person. And yet, it got me thinking about what prayer has done and still does for me in my own life. I think it is in prayer and gratefulness that I look to stave off the perils and hopelessness pervading the insides of me.

On a daily basis there is a conflict or struggle with right and justice. My heart hurts and my smile fades as I see the world’s ills as well as in my own backyard. Absolutely there are things that happen of a natural nature such as sea and earthly destructions or to people you love as they battle their health or loss of something dear to them. Don’t get my tears going there. Whether man-made or natural, the ills of the world, near and far, can continue to foster a hopeless, helpless, senseless disbelief. But then, I realize I can do my part in my own little way to do the good, to be of goodness, to be life-giving. In that, prayer is a start as well as the knowledge of being grateful and aware of my own actions and words.

How? Well being retired, I am available. Oops that came out wrong. I am able to do things that others may not have the flexibility. I am so happy as my older sister got an iPhone because she is able to now contact me when visiting my mom. Mom may not know me but I do and I can say “mom” over and over to her. I can see her face which seems to be more and more a sleep. Although there has been a smirk or two if I say something in just the right way….who knows with dementia. Seriously it sucks. Sorry, but it does. Yet the blessing is I get to see her. I pray for her and my dad who has had his own health issues being on full time dialysis. Who would have known? Garth Brooks, your song, The Dance, with its words, rocks.

I am learning that it is my attitude and approach to the day, to the interactions with people, to seeing the extraordinary in the ordinary. It is the little moments that spill out and take me by surprise. Graced moments where I feel a bigger purpose is before me. Extraordinary in such an ordinary happening. Words can’t quantify it but the awe of just seeing, feeling, knowing. Ah yes. It just is. And I silently thank God for moving within me to see what is before me.

How to live in gratefulness? Well I guess when my dog Maggie May goes into the compost under the sink and tips the contents over, spreading it all around the floor. Gratitude does not come to mind until I realize I can sweep and Swiffer it. You bet. Because she did not use the floor or furniture for a potty. It is not her fault that water and dry dog food don’t cut it. So what do I do….put the compost bin on counter and the garbage bin in pantry when leaving. Grateful. Yes. Can you be grateful and annoyed at the same time? Just kidding. Now I just need to remind my old brain to add to the list of what to check before I go out. Keys, doors closed, keys, lock the door, lights off or on depending on time of day, stove off, hat and mitts (still), purse, filled up water and food for dog, no garbage available for nosy sniffer and oh yes, keys. I miss the old days when I just borrowed the car.

But in the ordinary daily life lived, the extraordinary ways of being present and offering up thanks. And also prayers to all whom are in need of hope, healing, strength. I can do that for how can I not. So blessings today.

Let us pray for all those in our lives and those near and far who seek healing, strength, courage, compassion, and love, may they come to know a light in their darkness shines for them. Amen

It was an interesting dynamic and pull to the heart when I realized that February 14th marked not only Valentine’s Day but also the beginning of Lent this year with Ash Wednesday. Indulgence over fasting. Hmmmmm. I think both of these experiences are about love. The love of self to seek a more meaningful journey with Christ which comes about in lessening the distractions. So fasting over a period of time and hopefully finding What to do? What to do? I mean what with chocolate being a popular go to choice for fasting, the love language of gift giving could take a hit amongst the Christian community!! I am going to guess that some may do an about face and might look at other fasting options fast. It’s not like there are not plenty of choices to choose maybe giving up coffee, alcohol, meat, gossip, social media.

My middle granddaughter has been planning for Valentines Day back in early January. Being a four year old, time is from own perspective…hers. The day after Christmas she said it must be close to her birthday. Nope. A little ways a way by many many months little one. Regardless she marks the calendar year by her standards of tradition. Her mom is a great one for introducing and having family traditions of yearly special occasions to be a big to do. Ergo, Valentine is next. LOL. But her exploring of love and hearts came in her painting and making cards and goign to Dollarama to find images and things to help her come to know Valentine. Bless her heart she made a card for those special people in her life. Each card a different looking heart face and then wrote their name on back. My heart soar. Love that girl.

But at the same time for some reason she has been very interested in Jesus. She wants to listen to music that talks about Jesus. Read stories of Jesus. And watch videos of and about Jesus. She is very particular. Pieces that I like are not her thing which is important for me to know. It is a very tender time in her life. My heart tears up in bursting with love for her in wanting to ask questions. LOL. She has a very literal take on whatever I say and adamant about certain things when it comes to Jesus and God. Patience is a virtue for me as my granddaughter looks at me with a “no you are wrong Rara.” Of course I am.

She brings the beauty of love to the fore as she explores Jesus love and the love expressed on Valentines Day. Bless your little heart. Her actions speak louder (although her voice can be quite firm too, thank you very much) as her soft and gentle demeanour with others and her wanting to make a craft for someone, especially her mommy and daddy. She knows love. And now she sings at the top of her lungs Jesus Loves Me, one phrase from Jesus Christ Superstar “Jesus Christ Superstar who in the world do they say you are? ” Her version. The seed of love has been planted. It is humbling to say the least.

The gift of having and giving love is not something I take for granted. For whatever reason the two days falling on the same day has struck a chord with me. It is like a fortuitous double shot of love in the air. The nourishing of the soul for self and for another. To have that in your life and be able to share in knowing there is a beauty in love. One that goes beyond words although words are very powerful. Actions evern more so. But it does not matter in the end if you just love one another as Jesus loves. Blessings.

Let us pray for those whom are in need of our prayers today and for those who seek the healing presence of love for them. Amen.

PS To you my granddaughter thank you so much for the beautiful card that you had made for me and for the words you shared with your mommy who wrote them down. You have made me feel crazy with love for you. Love Rara.

I was reading a post on FB from a site that shared a powerful message to me today. The author Donna Ashworth wrote: On those days when you miss someone the most, as though your memories are sharp enough to slice through skin and bone, remember how they loved you. Remember how they loved you and do that for yourself. In their name, in their honour. Love yourself, as they loved you. They would like that. On those days when you miss someone the most. Love yourself harder. Whew!! That really spoke to me today. So I thank the Wild Woman Sisterhood site for posting it.. Goodness it resonates with me.

I think of the many people who I have been blessed to have met, some who have passed and some who are too far way to be with them. There are moments that you just want to say….holy lightening I wish I could be with you today and be in your presence. Not sure why but I need to be but it sure would feel good. LOL. The comfort of someone who knows you, loves you as a person, and just makes you feel a joyful peace and quiet within.

Maybe it is coming out of Lent. Reflecting on, pausing and praying a bit more intensely. In our Diocese there is a wonderful Lenten action taking place where a daily post comes out for pause and pray. When you are silent and allow the quiet to surround you, your mind goes a wandering. For me, I guess that is what happens when you slow down. But at the same time, I am walking with Jesus in companionship, trying to figure out how to slowly release the busy. Doing a fine job. NOT. LOL. Oh well it is 40 days I keep reminding myself.

But a relationship with a person, however it takes shape, is like a hot chocolate on a winter’s day, warm and cozy. A big hug experience! Yes that is what it feels like, a big hug. So reading this piece from this author spoke to me directly this morning for some reason. Loving myself more when thinking of that person or persons because they have done that for me. Loved me for me.

Hugging a tree doesn’t really cut it. Nor does hugging my dog. Sorry Maggie May, no disrespect to you. LOL. Now if I hugged my daughter’s mastiff brindle, well now that is a hug and half. And not only that her big tail, which can knock the wind out of you if she gets you just right, shows her love unconditionally to me. Wriggling and wiggling while her big head tries to nuzzle you (or maybe she is trying to see if I got a treat). Who knows? Hahaha

No, it is the feeling when you are with that person and can’t get enough of them in that moment. I think we all have them. And you smile inside and outside, Can’t help it. There is a gratitude I feel. But to honour those people in all honesty would be a tribute to each one of them because they love with a loving heart. No mask, no facade, no armour, no edge, no conditons….just love. So I need to squeeze the daylight out of me with love today. Good thing I have many models (miss your lovin’ hugs mom) to choose from and think of from family, friends, and four pawed critters. It is going to be a good lovin’ today. Blessings.

Let us pray for those who are in need of our prayers today and for those who are honoured by the love they have shared. Amen

Did you notice? That is crazy cold outside. I just wanted to get that off my chest as I looked out this morning as the early dawn began early. The paradoxical feeling of brrrr and delight. For, I really love this time in January when the daylight begins its slow trek to longer daylight hours. Long long way to go of course but woo to the hoo. I love mornings, the earlier the better with the cool dawn of light as it slowly rises to greet us with its hues. Like this morning and the morning before, I can see between the barren woods and bared trees, through my upstairs window, the skyscape has taken on this orangy reddish yellow mixture of colour. Alas I do realize that the sailors tale of “red sky in the morning, sailors taking warning”. While this land lubber is firmly on terra firma, nestled quite comfortably in her fleece and blanketed bed. You betcha.

Did I notice? Yes I did. I noticed that on my window of the storm door from my room is ladened with ice crystals. “Here comes Suzie snowflake tap tap tapping on the window pane to tell me” stay inside and only let the dog out. I do not know how lungs survive of those who wander out on a cold day. For that matter, the avid runners. Frost bite and hypothermia are not on the agenda for me. Although when I look at the white array of crystal patterns displayed on my windows, it is like the finest lace design, delicate and pure.

There is something to be said about discovering living in a country couched in four seasons. One can take each season and probably come up with all kinds of interesting words to capture the season well. Of course, you have the hard core advocates for each season which bring out the best version of the season spectacularly. But give it a human dimension, it takes on a paradoxical face. I am an in between kind of person of seasons. Not into extremes. That being said, like the weather, I toggle within a season, depending on what is going on in my life. Does that make sense?

Since Covid it seems, the seasonal gauge of people has taken a noticeable dip or turn. Not sure if you have noticed that. Some have become quite frosty and colder in dealing with their fellow neighbour while others have taken warmth and sunny disposition to a higher level. Why is that? I would think that the journey during Covid would lend itself to being so grateful to normalize after the havoc ensued. I so so appreciate family and friends and the ability to have sense of control back. Even though Covid will be a part of life going forward, or at least that is what I believe, I have such a gratefulness and appreciation of learning what is important to me.

It is not just Covid and what it can do to some people physically, but the mental state of peoples….skyrocketling spiral and spin in the mental well being of so many. Then you only have to listen to the news, open a newspaper, go on social media and bam, we witness world leaders making decisions that have people running or hiding, living on borrowed time. We see in our communities hurt and suffering by decisions made that cause a ripple effect of mammoth proportions. Never mind the poor and destitute, the homeless, seeking a way to just feel a hope in the cold dark gloom of their world. My heart hurts. Why, Oh why can there not be peace and calm? Right and just prevailing and spreading furiously outward. In my naivety, is it too much to ask? Are we not called to be people of eternal hope? Can we, may be a better way of saying?

Maybe that is why I have been focusing on seeking out the good and goodness. Somehow the mighty world of technology has a button of control over the human interest as iI have noticed when I do a search for something, I get a whole bunch of sites that suddenly appear with no direction from me. But click a word….dah dah dah. You got mail. Or ads. LOL. Interestingly enough, it has been a lovely find as I am always inspired by words and images. There are some people who have an eye or a pen that just makes me pause. Be still. Just breathe. I like that. And if it makes me smile or chuckle, even better. Thank you.

Surprisingly, I have been receiving some goodness in an unexpected way. FB for all its notable and interesting characteristics, obviously has an algorithm that monitors one’s conduct. Recently, it has provided a grateful nourishment of sorts. At least for me, I glean a small window of goodness from those who have befriended me or the virtual interest algorithm. And in that journey, somehow, I get a whole gamut of life inspiration whether it be in joyful memories, unbelievable photography, fully alive video clips or in the sadness shared of life’s losses. It is the care and love that comes through. A goodness. That is what I have noticed. And I get to welcome its warmth. Blessings.

Let us pray for those in our lives that need our prayers. And for those who seek refuge from their suffering and pain, and for those from the injustices and wrongs experienced. Amen

I am constantly in awe of the world around me. Taking a walk with Maggie a few days ago, the day was beautiful. But so so brrrr. That’s a word, right? Brrr. Or is that just the ability to take the English language and alphabet knowledge and string some letters together. It does not matter because it was brrrring cold. LOL. Because as I was coming back from the circling I do in coming off the cliffs to go down to the shore and walk along it until I have to turn around as I cannot go any further, I am stopped short. I know there are times when you just never know what is around the corner. But not that. For before me I see three people coming out of the dune path from the parking area down near the beach, crossing the hard sand that has a skiff of snow on it, heading toward the shoreline with its dirt covered ice chunks holding court.

Now that might not seem strange. But two of them were in shorts. I on the other hand as well as one of the trio, a female it looked like, were clothed in boots, long coat, hat and mitts. Am I missing something? Apparently. The taller person, as it looked like a man, began to take off his shirt and boots, and went into the water. No. He went into the water and layed down with head above. The other one who was also in shorts did not go in. Really!!! I could hear a woman’s voice counting. I of course not wanting to bother them trekked towards the dune path still hearing her counting up to 20. I guess he must have got out then as I heard voices coming closer as I got to the parking area and noticed a solo vehicle there with its motor running. Sauna city. LOL.

A polar bear dip. There seems to be a few people I know that are turning towards this way of experiencing a way of being more healthier. Hmmmm. Freezing every part of my body by, let’s face it, a cold electrifying no heat jolt to every part of my body. I’ll stay in the baby pool at the swimming pool thank you very much. I am not sure of the scientific reasoning behind it so I should not speak about something I do not know much about. But all I can say is….shiver me timbers. Brrrr. It is cold outside.

I am grateful for the cold snap as the weather has been up and down on PEI this year. I am going to pay attention as 2023 saw a huge abundance of rain over the spring, summer and fall months. But as far as snow goes, the ground has been sparsely covered. And the temperatures have been above freezing, even in low two digit numbers over November and December. Now I am speaking out of turn because right now, the snow is coming down. Suppose to get a big snowfall today. Ergo classes cancelled across the island and kids are home today.

I find that interesting as I can count on one hand the amount of times in my 33 years in education that classes were cancelled. Here on the island they do not take any chances. I guess being a small island and much of the population outside of Charlottetown area, the student population is in rural settings, they are not going to do the ‘what ifs’. I get it. The wind and snow out in the rural areas is unpredictable. Unlike the island, classes were not cancelled only buses in my experience. Interesting philosophy.

Regardless, you just never know how things are going to turn out. Better to be safe than sorry. But we have had it great as far as weather goes lately. I probably spoke too soon as lovely big snowflakes with a wind are swirling as I write. Don’t you just love a good snow fall. Being tucked inside, cozy and warm, while Mother Nature does her due diligence. It is the human unknown factor that comes to the fore, where humans meet Mother Nature. It can be wondrous or disastrous, you just never know.

I guess that is where faith comes in. We have faith that all will work out.

I know that in my walk yesterday afternoon, the waves were crazy wild as I looked across the open water while I plodded along the old worn tractor path on top of the cliff. The white caps were high and waves crashed into the rocky shore, beating against the shiny ice laden rocks. The sun was bright too as it spread its rays all around, bringing a joy to my heart, even as the chilly blustery wind forced me to cover my mouth. I am not a fan of cold lungs. Thanks. But oh that sun made me want to run and leap. Everywhere I looked it felt cheery and brightened the barren fields, lit the long reeds into a warm golden hue, and gave the water a deep ocean blue while painting a purest of white on the whitecaps. Lovely.

Well I hope all will be good this day as the thick snow continues to fall. I hear they are calling for freezing rain later on. That is not a favourite kind of weather of mine. Although, if all are safe and at home the aftermath of the freezing rain can be quite beautiful as the sun comes out and glistens upon surrounding nature….it is a sight to be seen. Blessings.

Let us pray for those who are need of our prayers and to those who are travelling today to arrive safely. Amen

Or vice versa. How many times does one say no in the day. If I am by myself, do I? Well I do as my dog seems to need a no or two. She gets into things while I am gone out for a bit and I come back and find garbage bag contents strewn all over the place. Do I not feed you enough dog of mine? Apparently not. Or when I forget to bring doggie bags and she wants to go number 2 on closest grass blade. Meanwhile the neighour is out cutting his lawn. Sheesh. My eyes bug out as I am pulling on her lead and saying to her, no no no. Are you kidding me!!

Better yet, I ask my granddaughter if she needs to go potty? Nope. We get in the car and decides she needs to go. Is there a gas station close by? No. Tim’s? No. Mall? Definitely not. Side of road. Yep. Well convincing her it is okay. Talking her through it as it is her first time to relieve herself in this way with no stool, potty seat or a book. Well I guess my arms are okay as my foot becomes the stool. Oh and yes, I need to wash my feet when I get home for apparently we do not know how to aim downward.

I think about all the no’s that come out of my mouth during a typical day. Sometimes I wonder if no has another meaning besides N.O. Do they sound like yes to my grandkids? Yep. The look in their eyes as they ask for something or want to do something. I have to laugh. Grandparents probably give parents a bad rep. I think about my own grandparents especially on my dad’s side; mom’s mom was a bit too strict. Sorry Grandma S. When we went to visit the farm of my dad’s parents in New Brunswick we got a freedom like no other to run all over. Loved it. Grandpa would say, let them go to my dad. Wow!! Don’t remember alot of nadas. LOL Especially with dessert at breakfast!! Are you kidding me!! Whoever heard of cakes and cookies at the breakfast table. Never. But at grandparents farm table, a plate was placed right in the middle for all to see and EAT. So dad, why on earth did you not bring that tradition to our table!!! I guess my grandpa loved his sweets as well as eating a pat of butter off his knife. Ew, grandpa. Desserts. Yes. Butter pat. No way.

Needless to say, going to the Best Western in Cornwall ON and having their continental breakfast with a few dessert like foods, well count me in. Funnily I did not put that tradition into practice in my home with my own daughters growing up. Why I wonder? But I guess sugar laden cereals would be considered a good compromise. And of course, the once-a-year treat of pop tarts on Christmas morning. I love love love cherry pop tarts. I still do that to this day minus cherry as it is not available in Canada it appears.

Maybe perspective changes as you get older. I don’t get hung up on so much about certain things which probably does not bode well for the parents of my grandkids. It is hard to say no at times but when I do, no is no. It is not YES. How to say no and mean it. It is not a mean no like the Grinch but it is a no out of love. Well don’t love me so much. Hahaha.

There are certain times that no has to be heard. I do not like the feeling of my heart dropping to my feet. For Instance, when my youngest took off in Sears one time and hid in the carousel clothing racks. There are no words to describe the panic. I almost bought a leash after that. Not funny. Or when my own girls or grandkids as little mites would be going for a walk next to the road and boom. They see something and veer off to the busy street. The world is their oyster and they just go. Traffic does not mean squat to them. No fear. Yeah, that is a hard NO. Or near water. How to teach respect for water, melted or frozen.

When I was first married, kidless, we had a skidoo and took off on the ice. Where we lived up in northern Ontario, the rivers and lakes were insured for a period of time in the winter months as it got so cold and ice was thick. So not thinking, literally, we took off on the lake which turned into a river. There was a man flapping his arms on the shore which thankfully we happened to look up and stopped the ski doo. Just before us, there was open water, Deep actually as I recall. Needless to say, it would have been a horrible turn of events because the ski doo would have gone through, us too, and the river was moving below the ice. Not going there but thank the Lord. Anyway going on the frozen water, especially black ice, lesson learned.

Yes there are times when I could let something happen even though I know it could hurt the person. But there are hard NO scenarios that are not up for discussion. I mean lets face it, the manipulation skill set of kids, big or small, are good at turning a no into a yes. Been there done that a few times. No handbook on no’s and yes’s. They nag and pester and keep after you until they drive you up the wall. Even pit one parent against the other and being a simple human being with only so much no-ing, no eventually turns into a deep sighed yes. I failed them. Grrrrrr. But alas, as Rara, my grandma nickname, I smile now. For what goes around comes around. My daughters are experiencing their own ‘no does not mean yes.’ 

It is not easy finding the happy medium. I am thinking no is more common than yes on any given day. I wonder if one could hook up to a recorder and it tabulates, like a fitbit, the no’s vs yes’s in a typical day. Which word would come up more? And in that, the significance of the no and yes. A no for the sake of no, or an adamant no because it is where you stand on a particular issue, situation, etc. And then the other scenario whereby no turns into yes or the yes turns into a no. Such a conundrum. It is not easy being green.

Such a little word but it packs a big punch. Sometimes you just don’t want to hear a no. I am sure you can think of many instances whereby you are counting on a different answer. How to say no, or yes, and it really is heard? Probably simply standing firm when you say it. Or if you are not solid on your thought, then hold back, pause a minute, and maybe put on hold….like “I’ll get back to you.” Or “I don’t know.” Mind you, teasing a person with no or yes creates confusion too. Does the person really mean no or yes? I certainly know that feeling.

Even as an adult in own relationships with friends or significant other or family members, there is a working background going on when a no or yes is said. Even when we want to say no, or yes, we don’t always say what we really mean or want to do. Why is that? I realize there are moments that you do not want to do something and you do it anyway. And at the end you say you are so glad you did. Or not. LOL.

Well whether it is a no or yes, don’t confuse the receiver including oneself. Instead of the knee jerk response of no or yes, it might be more palatable with a maybe. A bit of hope, some time to think and then say what you mean and mean what you say. Naturally there will be some concrete fast no’s and yes’s because of the given circumstances but a perhaps or possibly’s can be added into the mix of responses. And there are times, when you want to say no or yes but whatever is going on inside of you or in your life, you have to say what you say. Practice what one preaches.

But for now grandkids and kids, I have a few emphatic no’s and yes’s.

Nada, nah, no way, not on your life, never ever…

Eating my cherry pop tarts.

Being unkind.

Not telling the truth.

Not listening

Yeah, yep, all right, okey-dokey, that’s affirmative

Eating your vegetables.

Loving one another

Hugging unless sick (not strangers)

Helping others

One thing I do know about no and yes, don’t get caught in lala land. Pay attention to what is going on. Because seriously I can be preoccupied and not be paying attention and respond without actually listening. Yeah, that is not so good either. LOL. Goodness. Over a simple little word, Blessings.

Let us pray for those who are in need of our prayers today. We pray to the Lord.