There is so much in life that one can be grateful for. And then there are times when you wish you can change things but they are out of your control. I am feeling a little bit unsettled as I think of my parents these days. My mom as you may know is in a nursing home or villa which has now been shut down from any outside visitations. Now it is back to the virtual visits on Facetime. Thank the Lord for small mercies. It is hard enough that she can only get one visit per week with my dad (now because of pandemic spiking), that is done like toast. Trying to make light of something that does not seem to have a happy ending for a long long time.
Got to visit mom on Face Time on Saturday and she started to cry. She cried because she cannot be with her family. To be in her own home. To see her husband. To see her children. To be around things familiar. No one wants to see their mom cry. And worse, I began to cry and I could not swallow back my tears, I just could not. Whew. But then, I think of my dad sharing his last face to mask visit with her as he was describing his visit with her from across a table inside the villa. Mom had opened her arms wide to get a hug…telling dad to “take me home”. There is my dad telling his wife of 63 years, “not now honey”. He will not hug her either because he wants to be able to come back to visit. Now with cases going crazy around Covid, it plays with the heart and mind. How to get one’s head around something that one cannot take the bull by the horns and control the uncontrollable??? Grrrrr. I know…it is for the best.
But two weeks ago my dad experienced some health issues that he did not expect. A healthy man in his 80’s does not bode well with health issues. Let me tell you. So unhealthy health and loss come to greet him. Not easy to watch him struggle with things out of his control. And dad likes to be on top of things always. Losing his wife to something that is cruel to the human mind. Losing his partner and not being able to do what he hoped to do along with her. Experiencing health issues which is not in his purview. Slow down. Not in his vocabulary. But does he take whatever sitting down. No, not my dad. The day after he got home, there he is bringing up the finished laundry, going up and down the stairs for whatever reason, and doing dad. Then the next day, going out in the cold to get his visit in with his wife, worrying she will not see him and him see her. I mean dad does “LISTEN” mean anything to you. Nope. The philosophy of life of my dad is a wonder and have no idea what goes on in his mind. No sense dwelling on it but maybe a wake up call. Yeah. Nope. And worry…he worries about so many things.
Life is precious. It is a mantra of mine; one that I am not sure how many times I say in a week or month but it seems to spill out too often. Not quite often but too often. When does one realize the preciousness of life we are given. I keep coming back to the song The Dance by Garth Brooks. Not sure why but maybe the reality of how life comes to us. What would we do differently? And then I think it is really important to be all that we can be and embrace the life given now, Today. In the moment. For the moment can be snatched in a blink of an eye.
Then you find yourself thinking, how did I leave the person that I was with, be it family or friends or mere acquaintances, today or yesterday. And how about tomorrow. How does one imprint in one’s heart and mind to go about your day knowing that life is but a ripple in the water. But while the ripple moves outward, how many ripples can one make in their day or lifetime?
No one knows but God, or another higher power in belief system within, of where your life will go. Life is already invaluable, an exquisite reminder of the worthiness of breathing and living fully. A gift to be treasured. A dance not to be missed. Not only mine but my neighbours…you. What does it take to remind us of the wonder and awe and delight of life given?
And so dance….”I could have missed the pain. But I’d have had to miss the dance.”
Let us pray for those who are in need of our thoughts and kindness and hope today.
Karenpondering 