“Yahweh, I know you are near, standing always by my side….”
Dad you would have loved this morning as I took a walk down by the wharf with all the lobster boats sitting idly, casting their colourful images off the still water. Glorious morning that I know would have calmed your soul and in earlier times of your life, got you to get out and fish on the Maitland. But not today dad, not today,
You know dad when you repeated that mantra, one of many mind you over my life time with you, “get ‘er done”, it did not mean you had to leave so soon. That saying was one of telling us to get our butts in gear, no complaining and get it done whatever it was…until your finished. No rest for the wicked. You get nothing for free. Get. ‘er. done. Hmmmmm
Sheesh!! But could you not have waited for a hot minute?! Like ‘shoot me now, dad’ (metaphorically speaking here). Because that is what I was thinking (one of many chaotic thoughts and memories) as I think of yesterday surrounding you dad, with the family. Me sitting holding the hand of your youngest daughter (and grateful for technology being in PEI and too far away) as we once again watched our second parent leave this earth, tears flowing freely down my face.
I start to wonder about what a person can handle. I did not think I had more tears in me but there you go….yep tears aflowing. I know it has been a hard go for you and to watch you over the last few years struggling with your health journey. Always a healthy man, never really a sick day to mention. Of course when you did have a sickish day, Lord almighty have mercy. Then its “Ma, where are you?” LOL. But these last few years, bless your heart for persevering even though you did not want any of it. Drove you up the wall, hey dad. Yeah another favourite mantra of yours. It was hard to accept that it was your turn. To watch as your eyes close for the last time. Was not really ready! Then again is anyone?
It took me back to one of your many stories, this one being with your own dad, ol’ Gump, when he had said to you “I do not like what I see. I want to leave.” And of course being the dad you have always been, take the bull by the horns so to speak, you wondered what did he mean? He wanted to leave!!! He wanted to leave this earth as he was tired, had enough of the changes and could not do the things that he could do in his life. And you with your witty way, cajoling him saying you have still a kick in your step. I get it grandpa. I get it dad.
I guess one never knows what is in store in and with this life given. Life is a mystery and only God knows. But, seriously dad!! Nine days from mom passing to you passing too. I am in a state fo surreal shock. My head is full and foggy, not really getting what just happened. I needed to walk by the water today in the quiet stillness to wrap this teary head and hopefully you see the glory of the day.
No words to convey to you my love for you. I was just talking to you dad. I mean I was just talking to you!!! And you had to leave. What the ever loving all that is good did you have to love mom so much, you had to skedaddle home. Yes mom was your home, plain as day. As much as you were a pain at times (not being mean here dad) but it seems my only way to get through this one is to find the humour. You know that you have not been a good patient. LOL. Just kidding. Not. Your oldest daughter and son may have a word or three. Hmmmmm
They say, not sure who the they is, but say that when a beloved one goes the partner follows soon after. Yepper. 67 years with mom wins hands down. I believe you were only hanging on with all of your ails and ills, sometimes very very difficult to get up at all, even to see your wife at the nursing home, that with mom’s passing it was time. Your permission as it were to not worry about her anymore, No need to be supportive and her steadfast love. Not feel you were a burden to your family. Well lets not get too carried away because being a patient and having patience….I think a little lesson or five could have been said a time or two.
Oh dad. I get it. In my head I get it but my heart, it hurts. Being strong is a subjective word right now. Yes you may have taught all of us to be strong and give our all but holy goodness.
I am going to miss your craggy deep voice, off tune singing, your tight hugs, your gift to gab, your nose spreading as you start to be sassy or sarcastic dry humour. You have always been quick with the wit, your good old days stories even. Can’t believe I said that!! Missing your stories already!! Hahaha. Yeah dad, even your stories that you repeated over and over and over again. Even in the same hour. I could go for a story or two right about now. I could even go for those mini, no lets face it, long winded lectures or life lessons that you so readily offered to all who came to sit by you. Even grandkids could not escape. Oops you did not quite catch the great grandchildren. Your bad! Yet, like your dad, you had lessons in the story. I am not sure how in the world one story merged into the next but somehow you made the connection. There were times that I may have nodded off (I can say that now, hahaha).
All I can hang onto today is that you are finally at peace. No more hooking up to a machine at night or releasing you from it in the morning. (Bless your heart sister for commitment to mom and dad in the last four years as well as from my brother) Yes, the body can only take so much and yours had enough. Right dad!? You did not want to know something else was going to break down within. No more. You are at peace and for that, I am filled with gratitude. God is taking care of you now. But, I think mom has her running shoes on because her man will be chasing her once again. Run fast mom. You can’t get rid of him. LOL. I bet you thought you had your own hot minute, hey mom? Nah. Not this day.
What do you say to the man (dad, father, pop, grandpa, uncle, fil, bil) that gave me life and my three siblings and families!! That guided us with his strong will and values of how to live out this life given. Modelled for us…Family life truly. Hard working always. Provider totally. Fixer upper creatively, Lecturer (or story teller) crazily. Fisherman peacefully. Wisedom given freely. Beloved hugger and the two-finger kiss off the lips in each hello and goodbyes faithfully.
You have touched many lives and be sorely missed, just know that. I am smiling dad but can it just be a little one for now please? By the way, you can hear us all now, no more visits for new batteries for the hearing aid as it was another thing to drive you up the wall. I have lots to say for you and mom so stay tuned. Woohoo. You got this. And I got you, dad. Love you always. Blessings
Let us pray for those whom are in our prayers and those beloved who have gone before us. Amen
PS Thank you daughters and family. May the comfort of one another give us the strength and courage for the days ahead. Peace.
Say hi to mom for me dad.