This is probably something that I will talk about over and over again. Motherhood. Celebrating Mothers Day and all the blessings last weekend, oh my heart beats loudly as I think about being a mother. Listening to my two daughters with their own children now, experiencing with them, the hills and valleys of this beautiful journey called motherhood. Hard work…absolutely. Easy….not in this lifetime. Regret…never. Hopeful…to the moon and back. What to do when you live in a shoe?
Firstly, I think you come to the conclusion as a mother that there are no books (or websites) that you can go and turn a page to say “aha” – the answer to my child’s cry or hurt or situation. Hints and tips galore. Yes. But that is just what they are…the found generalizations from thousands upon thousands of evidence of raising a child over time which could apply in some way yet not exactly but near enough to get a glimpse of the answer you are seeking. Google it – that’s more like a fret and regret; temporary at best. I got to my go-to ‘mothers’ in my life, practical wisdom, and then to the professionals. Sometimes all you need to hear is reassurance. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
Secondly, do what I do, not what I say. Or is it, do what I say, not what I do? Sometimes being a mother, a parent, is surviving in any way possible…just to get through the day or half day. Why not go for broke? Hour of the day. I think there are times things come out of me that I have no idea how they got there. Osmosis maybe? After reading a “Top 10 Momisms” poster shared with me about the things moms’ say (or dads because I have heard them too) to their child(ren), well, where do people come up with these crazy thoughts?
I know….a mom that’s who. Me in particular suffice to say. Oh, if the walls could talk I know I have said a few of these one liners…. “Why? Because I said so, that’s why!”, “I’m going to give you until the count of five!”, “I’m not running a taxi service.” Or “Do you want me to turn the car around.” Or “I’m doing this because I love you.” Or my favourite is “Bob. Sue, Joe. Moe. whatever your name is…” Yeah that last one SHOUTS OUT. And now it is worse because I have grandchildren to add to the alphabet. LOL. The look my girls give me at times as if to say, “do you know who I am?” The jokes on them now; what goes around comes around.
Mom is a 24/7. I think each day is a lesson (at least a hundred a day give or take) wanting to do right by your child and “say what you mean, mean what you say”. If only children could read between the lines, get at what I, mom, am trying to say in a way that gets them to LISTEN. PLEASE for the love of God. For me, delivery is everything. How you say or do, what you say or do, leaves value and dignity not only to the child but you, mom. Just let me reiterate here…there is no MANUAL.
Happily, without knowing it, there is something mothers have crafted to a fine tuned instrument…”the look”. You know when the face, especially the eyes, take on a certain je ne sais quoi and plain speak…you crossed the line. Hopefully it is not a fearful, scary, punishment kind of look…not so good. Being a mother, a parent, is not so easy. It is the best role in the world but no hope really to get it right; slippery slope on a good day. Why do we say or do what we do? Quick answer, going in blindfolded, routing around, feeling your way. Long answer, the beauty of being human. To err is human, to forgive divine.
There is no job description in a posting of being a mother. Certainly not one to capture all that being a mom is and does. So, I think of that Jim Henson’s song by Kermit the Frog from Sesame Street “It’s Not Easy Being Green” and the last verse sung gently. “When green (mom) is all there is to be, It could make you wonder why, But why wonder (why wonder?) I’m green (mom), and it’ll do fine. It’s beautiful and I think it’s what I want to be.”
Blessings to being a mom.
Let us pray for all those in need today and in the hope for healing to all who suffer.
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