So this is a new pondering for me and as my daughter encouraged me to, why don’t you blog about it mom. A human heart can only take so much. But here we go. So I have put myself out there to do on-line dating, dipping toes in the pool!!! LOL. Can you believe it! Can I believe it! Those who know me will either fall down in shock or smile or say good for you or not sure. I’m not sure what they would say for it has been a very long time, 14 years to be exact, in being in any kind of relationship. Not sure what this means but life is to be lived. Or that is what I’ve been told. Although, I have to say on-line dating puts the definition of the word “interesting” in a whole new light.
I look around me at the many people I have come to know and walk with in my life, very wonderful women and men, who have put a face on relationships that bring joy to my heart. They talk about their partner, funny and serious, but I can feel the love. I have not paid much attention to this gift for me until very recently, maybe the last couple of years since moving here. Is it even possible? 60 and counting? But the beautiful expressions of love for one another, even in the valleys and dales, or tsunamis and celebrations, of sharing a life with another, it is what I get to see or at least feel when I am these people…family and friends. Thank you. And that gives me hope. I realize that relationships are not all beds of roses (I can personally attest to that) , more like ‘bite your tongue’ or ‘roll the eyes’ or ‘patience is a virtue’ or whatever…but still they want to be together and have found away through their thick and thin of life.
So here I go trying it out. Why? I want to believe in HEA. I am a closet romantic I have come to realize. I love reading about romance but kept that on the q-t, just for me. At the end of the day, I like to think there is someone out there for everyone, including me, who would like to be spend time getting to know me, be with me, but not change me or adapt me or mold me or control me. Just let me be me. Is that too much to ask? Well we shall see, miracles do happen.
But I am smiling as I think about my first experiences in navigating this on-line dating world. Holy lightning it is funny, chuckling, unsettling, eyes turn to wonder (that’s you KC), and eye opening all at the same time. And to top it off, how does a person not appear to be forward or pushy or acting crazy when you say like, or wink or whatever the prompt is? Ping you got mail. You know the movie? With Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan? Love it.
Anyway, of course naively I think it is free, NOT. But okay. Then they have this deal and that deal, reading between the lines….it is a monthly cost. And if you want to boost your profile, it will be another cost. Is this really worth it? No just stick to the basics. I’m not shopping. Or is that what it is? LOL. I think being out of the loop, not having much experience dating AT ALL, I think for me on-line will be the most comfortable (and the most safest) especially as my daughters have lectured me already of the dos and don’ts. Hahaha.
I’m a big girl, daughters. Well let me say that in this case, maybe they know what they are talking about. It’s all good. I am on two sites, each kind of different, not necessarily intuitive. Flashy. Neony like. Searches of matches are visible and you can narrow by location, photo (read them even if no photo), likes and so on. Then if you want to be a penpal, friendship, casual, serious, even marriage. Once you get in, you immediately see an image or not, handle of profile or not, and a quick all about them. Scroll through.
The handles that men have are interesting – some have own name (maybe not their own I found out), some have letters and numbers, and still others have a sentence ‘dreamforyou’ kind of name. All say something about the person in some way or other. But the biggest thing for me, if I am putting myself out there, at least have the decency to put own face out there and say a little bit about self. I like to see who I am reading about and ‘talking’ to.
As you scroll through the ‘matches’, they provide for you, they are supposed to be based on the input you share on the site (age, hair, eyes, body type, smoke, drink, religion, children, status, likes and so forth, Whew – its like an interview). As I am beginning to realize mystery is alive and well on-line. Many of the men do not post much on themselves. I guess they have their reasons for that. But then when they do not share a photograph or what they are looking for in a woman, well that is another whole kettle of fish. What’s the scoop?? I guess I just trust people to be honest. Or at least put some effort into the task at hand.
I am not sure what happens on the site but I am getting men from all over the world. I am in a BUBBLE!! COVID-19 for goodness sake!!! How is that going to work? Already made a mistake with one person (that is another story). Why would you be even sending a ‘like’, ‘wink’, ‘get to know’ and so forth to a person across the ocean or state or hemisphere even, never mind even across provinces?! Well I guess I should think of Canada. Don’t know. What to do what to do? Like I said it is interesting.
However, there are men who have written some really thoughtful profiles that make you want to give a thumbs up. Bless their heart. Then you look down and the age range…well 60 is not on their radar…up to 59. Nope. I have to be respectful. Or my age is in there…from 30 to 90. Okay. Can’t win. I am not sure how to think about that one.
Really I guess putting my toes into the pool, I have come to realize that having someone to do things with, wanting to be with you, sharing a life with them, maybe finding a soulmater, is worth it. What does that look like? Who knows? But I am smiling in the goodness. (I know girls. It is not a Hallmark or Disney channel. HEA may come or not.) I want to believe that each person deserves a chance, second chances, to feel worthy, to be cared for, want to be around you because of who you are.
Just so you know. Holy moly, this was a bit of a hard one to put on as a pondering. But to all those people I have come to know, I am grateful for the gift you have given me in that you have made me hopeful. On-line dating, who would have thought? A final chuckle for me was when I told my older sister and dad. My sister said woohoo but my dad, he was the funniest. He has been telling me for a long time to find someone so that you are not alone. No was my answer for so long. You kind of tune out your dad who has always had these little mini lessons (LECTURES) of life. I thought he was going to jump through the iPad screen. So I made his day. Hahaha.
For the gift of relationships and love, blessings.
Let us pray for those who are in need of our thoughts and prayers today.