I have always been struck by doors that I have passed through in my life. Glass, wooden, steel, metal, screen, sliding, framed, batten, keyless, revolving, windowless…you name it, I have been through it. Even one with bars…not what you think. Just to clarify, I visited an old jailhouse turned museum in Goderich many many moons ago. Regardless of the location, doors open and close in unexpected ways. Sometimes they open without effort and other times you almost have to kick it in; then closing them, well that can take longer like when the winter seeps into the doorframe causing warpness in the opening…almost two hands to close it. Still others, you have to slam the door shut, shaking the very walls of the building. And of course you have doors that are sleek and smooth, opening and closing without a stir…perfectly set and ready to be used.
I find doors have a certain beauty to them. They can give character and charm to a room or building. In my home I have a different door for every room and entry in and out of my home. Its like each door picked has a bit of a story which of course if doors could talk…what a tale they could tell. One door that I really like is the door to my pantry as it has a frosted glass insert with the word pantry on it coupled with a design image to enhance its look. My dad, bless his heart, built the pantry for me. I always wanted to have one and I found these two doors at a local shop MoneysWorth; the doors spoke to me. So I bought them both and lo and behold, creative dad, he used not one, but both doors – one door became THE door to open and close, while the other door became part of a wall to pantry, solid and secured. Possibility.
There is a certain stir in the heart, trepidation maybe, when opening and entering through a new door. For doors if you think about it, keep things a part, separate, divided. You never know what is behind it and so when you reach for the door knob or handle, you tentatively push or pull to open it, peering in before walking across the threshold. It is like opening yourself up to the world, seeking or hoping, that what is beyond is good. Almost like a negotiation of sorts before crossing. Think of the doors weathered and worn, beat up even, and you hesitate for a moment or two because it does not look so inviting. You wonder how the door got to be the way it is and still functioning. But it has served for many years and continues to despite its wear and tear. You almost want to press your hand on it, drawing comfort from its years of purpose.
Other doors allow for an unbelievable openness, as light comes in providing a glimpse of what is in store. Then I think of the poor window cleaner as they scrub away the finger or hand prints mashed against the pane, skewing a bit a clear view of whats beyond inside. And once you enter, you receive something in some way. It is then that the door you entered may be a keeper, visiting it again, or it will be closed no matter what.
Doors have become more of a metaphor in my life. Some doors are wide open, new beginnings, a way out, or an invitation to enter. Hope. Joy, While other doors are shut tight, no key to be found. Closing down what might not be life-giving. A sign on the door “do not disturb”. I think about my daughter having a red sign with white lettering “Enter at your own risk”. N’er truer a word. Unfortunately, rattling the key chain can hammer at the door some days which makes me think I need to either open that door fully and face whatever finally or take plaster and seal it off. Yet, do I really want to have that? What makes one ready to face the music? What is the worst that can happen?
But as I reflect upon my own life, I seem to have doors that are more slightly ajar, not ready to be opened fully or closed tightly. I wonder why that is? So I find myself leaning toward the age old adage from Matthew 7:7 in Bible “ask and it shall be given to you, seek and you shall find, knock and the door shall be opened to you.” Basically do not be afraid. Is it not true, when one door closes, another door opens?
Maybe I should be looking at my closed door(s) in a different way, doors closed in front of me and doors closed because of me. How to look at the door in both ways, allowing the opportunity or accepting the closure? In other words, I face a choice. What to do, what to do? The nature of the door comes to mind, and its’ caretaker may well shape my choice – steel metal wood glass keyless keyed – all come into play.
Why thinking of doors today? For the past three months there have been many kinds of doors closed that have taken the wind out of my sails so to speak. I mean literally intellectually physically emotionally spiritually. Just shut down without regard; not intentionally or without compassion but for safeguarding, protection, safety. Whatever the reason…doors closed. So for me, I have come to point, spending time in contemplating my own way of lived life and pondering my own and others’ doors before me. So I believe that the caretaker of doors opening to me (and all of us) is being removed slowly. It is an invitation to go forward into change slowly.
Here I stand at the threshold of a new door.
Blessings today.
Let us pray for those in need and all those who seek and they shall find.
Karenpondering 