Yikes my brain has gone on standby!!!! What is up with that?!? Last weekend my middle daughter was over with the kids and she happened to see some photo albums sitting on my book shelf. Pulled out a few and started to skip through the pages of yesteryears. Oh my. Smiling and chuckling, remembering a bit here and there. I sat beside her and would fill in a few of the gaps. recalling when and where. Of course I did not put the pictures in chronological order (hindsight is always great) so it took a bit to place. But when she started looking at ones from my early days as a young gal….way back when. LOL. Yeah some are black and white because they were. FYI: My grandson asked me a while back, “did you have TV back then, Rara?? Was it the kind in a big wooden with dials? I saw it on an olden kind of show.” “Funny, very funny, grandson of mine”. Hahaha. Yes we did smart one, even in techni-colour…eventually. Boy they grow up so fast…10 going on teen too soon and have a ‘tude and half. Love him.
Anyway, when I looked at my own photos of long ago, I had a much harder time retrieving back into the recesses of my own mind, pulling at the cobwebs of my childhood and growing up years, looking at the images, placing them, what was behind the photo. Hold on Silver, need to pause for a bit, I do not want to loose those memories. Sort of like in the song Photograph by Ed Sheeran when he sings “we keep this love in a photograph we made these memories for ourselves, where are eyes are never closing, hearts are never broken, and times are forever frozen, still“….whew that jumps out at me straight between the eyes.
So naturally my daughter discovers I also have a whole boat load of pictures tucked in a large blue plastic container that I had not taken out in a coons age nor organized for that matter until recently. Yes I had it hidden in my closet for keepsake but needing to clean out my closet, I forgot to put it back. And of course my second grandchild, little curious mite that she is, discover the bin, and what….well she knows how to open lids. Yep. The teeny little fingers grabbed a few of the pictures and voila…..they float. Yes they do my darling granddaughter. Oh oh oh. Anyone who knows tiny tots, they like to do repeat, repeat, repeat. So each time she came over, her little mind does not forget. And so little Muhummand Ali, does her thing…see the bin, quick as a wick, moves fast for a little one and…..Well thankfully the pictures are durable, should be looked at, and so lesson number 51. Yep, Rara lessons for my little granddaughter. No throwing. Be careful. Be kind. Kiss the photo. Gentle. Ta Ta. No thank you. Pick them up. Let’s just say I am glad the photos are not confetti-like. Once again, retrieve. Aaahhh! Gotta love them.
Hey it is my fault. I left them out. My bad. But gratefully for I have to laugh too because my oldest who just had her first baby last year, and by the way the little one is turning 1 yr old this week….holy lightning where did the time go!!! wanted some pictures of herself to compare to her own baby girl. Good thing I spotted a few pictures as I was retrieving from the ‘fun and games’ with my other granddaughter. You never know what life presents to you.
So I gathered a few photos that I found of her and our family over the years in the blue bin and sent them via text. Thank the Lord for the miracles of technology and cell phones and sending messages virtually by the way. Just saying. But why it meant a lot to me this time around was that I wanted to find pictures of celebration to express my thoughts…it was my daughter’s birthday too. When someone says a ‘picture is worth a thousand words’, I could not find a better way to express my love and blessings to my eldest as she celebrated her special day with family surrounding her before her eyes. Forever frozen photographs. Yes. Ed. Yes. Well said.
I love to write and for many years I would write a long note or poem-like prose to each of my daughters. I even did the large bristol board card with pictures and words, telling them how special they were/are to me. Oddly enough, my middle daughter said to me she wished I kept a few more things….like favourite clothing items or toys or games and such from childhood. Yes. I understand as right this morning I was wrapped in a nightie my mom made for me (which will not be made by her hands ever again sadly enough). But maybe and hopefully they do that now with their own, holding on to things for their young. I can tell you that my oldest daughter has this app which she and her partner use to capture every single day the life of their daughter from feeding to #1 /#2 to her firsts or whatever things she does daily. Can you imagine? What a tracking of her little life!! And pictures. Holy Hannah, lots and lots. Once again technology has an amazing ability to capture life’s precious moments.
I know I have some favourite images/photos/items of my own past, ones that I look or hold onto for they bring such joy to my heart. It might not be joyful or meaningful to others but it certainly was and still is to me. Maybe it is a way of giving the heart the reminder of the goodness in one’s life, the blessings given, the held memories captured to joggle the old noggin’ to remember life as we knew it and life as we know it now. But also the mind too. I think of my mom right now who is walking with dementia. My dad calls it the terrible disease. It is,Dad. No other words are needed in that.
At this point, gratefully and with heartfelt joy in my heart, she still recognizes each of us when we skype her. My sister and I bring images to her through our words during our virtual visits, recalling her as our mom, bringing out the things we have always loved about her. She could make something out of little. Had the ability to make a casserole dish taste delicious even though you may not think the foods together would work – tuna fish, mushroom soup, peas and potatoes….yum, mom. Best cooked rice pudding to perfection. Fresh bread that wafted its way into ones nostrils as you came into the front door. Swiss steak that falls off the fork. And pizza…delisiohso. Don’t get me going on her gardens…no mom not the weeds and good for the soul. But your knack for beauty and flowers and shrubbery that worked together. I am grateful for those moments now and hear her husky laugh, nothing like my mom’s laugh and smile….it is funny how her voice is so much more. Her nose still spreads as we look at her. She wants to say something smart, I just know it. But loses the thought before it begins, yet it is still awaiting there to come out. Tears come to my eyes right now. Sorry.
Take out the albums. Yes, I think it is good to look back to see where you have been. Good memories and not so good but all are recollections gathered and held dearly that have become part of who you are becoming. Not souvenirs selected from an outside momentary place but deep rooted images companioned in the very roots of your being. Held reverently with heart and home attached to them. I think I am going to have to write on the back of the pictures maybe or something so while I still can….you never know what life has in store for each of us….bring life to the photo.
I think I begin to understand the oral traditions of faith, of families, of communities and then deciding to have them written too. Memories can fade and recollections become hazy clouds, forgotten places and faces, treasured memories once stored become empty. Hold on a moment longer to be forever captured….blessings this day.
Let us pray for those who are in need of our prayers today and for those who experience the loss of remembrance, keeping the dignity of those who suffer in this way.