Birthdays. Woohoo. Celebrations of life, welcoming another new year with an openness to the possibilities ahead. A day put aside each year to honour and commemorate the joy of your birth many moons ago (many many many moons ago). Okay, got it. Oops my bad. I forgot about the babies born on Feb. 29- leapling babies. Hey you get to be a kid for so much longer as you have technically a birthday every four years. So if someone says grow up or act your age or whatever ‘adult’ kind of ping on your behavior…you are acting your age. Like turning 31 and being a leapling, you are sort of around 7 or 8 years old. Wow! Sounds like a plan to me.

I do love birthday celebrations…at least for other people that is…not so much for me. I do not mind my birthday and age turning, it is what it is….seasoned 60; and getting better I hope. I kind of choke up and slither in my seat so to speak when on the receiving end of kindness and goodness from others. Not really into being the focus. I am more of a background, wallpaper (or wallflower), blend in with the furniture kind of person. I am a giver, delighting in the arranging and planning. Love it. My daughters tell me to get over it as they were raised in birthday tradition from me doing my thing for them; do I say not as I do. Does not work. It’s all good.

As I think back over the years, I realize I have breathed tradition into the birthday day for my girls (and other family members) as it took on a certain kind of look, a ritual of sorts. It certainly came from a place of unconditional love…Sonny and Cher kind of “I got you babe”. The kitchen table would have gifts on it, decorated in some way, with a homemade mushy poetry-style card attached (sometimes that card would be huge in size; a bristol board folded in half, with writing on all four sides interspersed with pictures of themselves over the years), wrapped gifts (sometimes I will get little gifts with one large gift that matches their new year – you know if they turn say 10, they get 10 gifts), then birthday supper of their choice, followed by the traditional birthday song and cake with candles.

Tradition taken to the extreme. Imagine not 10 but 60 gifts!! That’s right. My two sneaky sisters for my 60th birthday this past year, put together two boxes filled to the top with 60 gifts (my grandson and I counted) of all kinds of things that I could use or like or wanted but did not say aloud. Need to play down my little loves of a Mars bar, barbeque Fritos, big chocolate jujubes, love of vanilla or apple pie smelling candles, Christmas decorations, interesting quotes. Someone has big ears and eyes. Oh well, my grandson, bless his soul, said to me as he looked at all the gifts in the two boxes, “Rara (that’s my grandma name) how come you have so many gifts? I want them. It’s not fair.” Out of the mouths of babes. Yes little one, one day you will turn 60…I’ll let your mommy know for you. Okay?

Gifts. Well they are great to get. Of course they are. My grandson would give me the stink eye (eye brow would lift way up) if I said anything else but gifts being good. However the gift comes and whatever it is, you were thought of.

Anyway, I do not think I can ever get old of hearing the birthday song sung or the cake coming in right after (cupcake or icecream cake or a special treat just for them) holding candles to be blown out. Have you ever looked closely at the person getting the cake? Watching their eyes light up as the ‘cake’ draws near. Eyes focused as they make a wish. Their face takes on a glow from the candles. And funnily it does not seem to matter how many candles are lit, the light shines fully on the face, catching every expression. So yes birthdays are a beautiful gift to give to another in remembering them, knowing them, calling them by name.

Today marks one of my daughters’ birthday (Happy Birthday); the other two already had theirs in the last couple of months. Wow!! I look at them and cannot believe who they have become. Each in their own way are spectacular human beings. Not one moment did I want a return policy (although I could have skipped a chapter or two – just saying). And probably as siblings they would be more inclined to say ‘your adopted’ at one point in time or another. Where did the time go? In a blink of an eye 33, 31 and 26 – are you kidding me? Seriously. You betcha.

Well, what’s to celebrate? You.

Blessings today and let us pray for those in need.

Oh for heaven’s sake. I refuse to be grumpy today. I mean what is there to be grumpy about? It is not like I just went on the weather network to check in to see the forecast for today – wet snow. Weather like that makes you want to put the old running shoes on, heavy rain jacket, mitts and hat, and leap for joy…let’s go for my morning walk. Yep, that won’t make me grumpy. And no I am not going to turn on TV to the channel dedicated to and called COVID-19 channel for updates so I can see the results of the wake of the pandemic across Canada nor decisions possibly, cautiously, hesitantly being made maybe to opening up at some point sectors of what…Nah, not a glitter of grumpiness there. Nor am I going to think about the group chat video I had yesterday with my two of my daughters as I watched their own two daughters – one was crawling being busy busy busy, moving over the floor with her little hands and knees a slapping on the floor; or my youngest grandbaby with her squishy little beautiful face and the priceless expressions she does as she stretches her little 6 week old body while doing tummy time with mommy. Both babies growing so wondrously and healthily, 8 km and 1800 km away, and I CANNOT touch them. Nope that won’t make me grumpy.

And don’t get me started for goodness sake on not being able to celebrate my parents 63rd anniversary face to face on Saturday, enjoying a delicious supper made by my sister (fish and chips which unless it is haddock or halibut I really wouldn’t be too grumpy about missing; I do not care for fishy fish) topped by ice cream cake (not really my dessert either so that would be okay to skip too). But still in all to not give them a hug and kiss. Oops I forgot for a hot minute. I would not be able to anyway, hug and kiss them, as I could be a carrier of the virus that would prevent me from being there in the first place. Never mind reminding myself that I moved to the island 1950 km away. It is not like I could pop in to see them anyway. Absolutely nothing to be grumpy about.

Wow! Can I get any grumpier? I feel like searching on CRAVE TV to find Walter Mathau and Jack Lemmon in Grumpy Old Men or that classic movie The Odd Couple. Or how about Clint Eastwood. He has that face and seems to star in a number of movies that has him being grumpy like Trouble with the Curve or Gran Torino or even his Dirty Harry movies. He kind of has that don’t-mess-with-me face all grumpiness, snarly looking. But my favourite is Shirley MacLaine’s role as Ouiser in Steel Magnolias. Just thinking of her makes me laugh. Now she gives grumpiness a whole new meaning, especially when Olympia Dukakis gets her going. I must like grumpy characters or at least ones that get your funny bone going.

Oh Lord give me strength. I think I must be missing my old cat Marble. Now if I wanted a grumpy fix, I certainly did not need to go too far to find her and her royal scowl and hiss look. Yep she could be mean, queen of grumpiness. I never knew what to expect especially in the last few years before she passed away. If you touched her tummy or paws…run. She did not like certain things which from my perspective, just about anything would tick her off. And don’t get me started on her love, NOT, for Maggie May. Maggie gave her a wide berth. There would be some reason in the day for Marble to take her clawless front paws, and swat Maggie on the nose. Not one swat but quick, firey, swats – bat bat bat. “Hrmp” Maggie would whine after another bout of Marble love. Yet there were times (not many) she could be affectionate…allowing you to pet her for a second or two. Miss her. Boy it hurt to see her leave this earth in March of last year; right before my eyes lying next to me. I held her little paw as she took her last few breaths…now that made me grumpy.

I guess today I needed to get the grumpies out. And that’s okay. For there is so much to smile about too. I’m looking at my dog lying beside me right now as I write. Now, she does not have a grumpy bone in her body. I mean a little bark, no scratch that, a lot of bark comes out of her but not angry or grumpy….just annoyingly yippy. That does make me grumpy at times because honestly she barks at the breeze for goodness sake. Maggie May sees the world for what it is, a great big playground to pee and poop in, followed by sniff a whiff on whatever blade of grass or lump of dirt she finds. Little nub of a tail waggling back and forth, ears flopping up and down, she flits to and fro happily. Best ungrumpiness, you ever want to meet.

Well now that grumpy has settled down, oh what a day before me. Blessings.

Keep healthy and safe. Let us pray for those in need.

Gaslighting, what in the world?! Where do people come up with these terms?!I Is this another new 2020 term like social distancing that we are going to wear? Life has certainly changed drastically in every household across the globe (at least I believe it to be true) ever since the term social distancing was introduced into our lives and has become an everyday behaviour for us all. I just finished reading this article that my youngest daughter had shared on our group chat (her sisters and myself) in Messenger yesterday – Prepare for the Ultimate Gaslighting (Julio Gumbato). I have never even heard of the term gaslighting…oh google. So I look up the word (from Quora on google) and it is not a word of goodness. It is a term describing a form of psychological abuse where a person is manipulated over time to believe they are doubting own sanity or not. Really!!

Although Gumbato’s message is addressed to the American public, there are so many things that he is saying in his article that are stirring my heart strings big time. He is basically saying to me wait for a grand manipulation that will strike at the very emotion and core of our being – getting back to normalcy. The powers that be will light the flame of mass messages to get back to normal, blurring the lines between needs and wants, in a bid to fire up the economy. Making a Hallmark moment of all the things missed and here they are…ready and waiting. Without doubt, we have lived in a world with easy access to almost anything and everything…the world is our oyster. 24/7 availability, all day, everyday. Wants become needs. Coupled with the tension of wants/needs to the inequity and destruction of the very lives and world we live in across the world from driving needs/wants. Then, a tsunami of epic proportion, a chaos from COVID-19 blasted to bits normalcy (life as we know it) – spiritually, emotionally, financially, socially, physically, mentally – the whole kit n’ kaboodle. Leaving the heart and mind open to being vulnerable, at the mercy of, even safe to say an easy target for….what he refers to as gaslighting. I am afraid he may be on to something. Holy lightning.

What happens when the restrictions from COVID-19 are lifted or ‘open back up’, slowly or quickly? I mean it is going to happen sooner or later right. But what I am sensing is his underlying message, is we as people have been given a profound gift. One that has been given to us unsuspectedly – a GREAT PAUSE (Gambuto’s point) – a quiet. Getting down to the basics, living simply instead of simply living the lived spin. Rat race. Me me me mentality. Have I really lost anything? Not so much things in as much as human contact. After reading the thread in group chat between my daughters – they miss being able to be with one another. Camp. Explore. Be on front yard together. I tear up when I read that because oh boy can I relate and sooooo agree with them.

All in all, I guess it comes down to how I want to continue to live my life, with me and with others. I remember when I retired from education, I promised myself that I would slow down, get off the spin. In that decision, I had freedom of choice. What do I really need? It is not a negative thing to want or have things but is it okay to be in gratitude for having things? To be able to have them? And to really be in wonder and awe to the pause? I remember travelling back from Ontario to the island in later March, going through Toronto in early morning. Honestly it was kind of eerie because there was little traffic. My head was not turning up down all around to change lanes. Nope. I certainly do not miss the traffic. Islanders have no idea what rush hour is let me just say.

It is a big question for me. What happens? I am not sure we as human beings are very good at being told no. And let’s face it, being flexible like gumby (you know that green stretchy character), that’s a stretch too. But having choice…winner. But choice was literally taken away, necessary, but still taken away, in an instant. So a knee jerk reaction to me…give me give me give me. Just need to remember the old adage “Give me give me never gets, don’t you have any manners yet.”

I pray for the coming months as choice and normalcy…well I’m thinking maybe hide the matches or lighter or at least for starters, build a campfire.

Praying for those in need this day. Blessings.

Oh glorious day…Sunday, a day of rest (seems like a lot of Sundays lately). Opening my eyes to see the sunrise flickering through the wooden landscape of bared trees and branches, it cascades its rays of light upon my bedroom walls. I painted my walls a sunrise burnt orangy colour and boy when the sun comes in during the morning hours and touches the walls…love the feeling of colour. Vibrant. Warm. Inviting. Yes it is time to wake up and smell the coffee; not literally mind you, as I am not a coffee drinker. Water, almond milk and a wee bit of herbal tea…that’s me. I really do not need a ‘pick me up’ or a ‘wake me up’ as I have an internal clock that gets me going…way too well some mornings.

Quiet in the dawn, my walk with Maggie May was wonderful once again. I love the morning the best as it is so loud in its silence (unless crazy island winds come out to play); your senses become a tuned to your surroundings. This morning it was quiet, only a taste of a breeze. I could hear the woodpecker on the telephone pole tapping away. I think it needs some help because it was not pecking at wood but on the steel part of pole. Not sure what that’s about. Not paying attention to my feet, I stumbled at bit as Cape road (part of my daily walk) really has taken quite a beating from the winter. Permafrost has pushed the pavement up, creating patches of serious tar crumble…don’t really want to be knocked in the head by a flying object. Then I found myself sort of skating as I swished the side of my shoe, kicking and shoeing larger tar rocks off to side of road. I did not think I needed steel-toes for walking. Oh well.

Maggie May made me chuckle loudly as we found ourselves plodding along the old tractor trail beside the cliffs. She noticed something amiss as her body stood still – looking. There was a tractor up ahead with a hundred little-wheeled pull thing (don’t know its called) behind it, randomly parked in the field. Maggie of course did not know what it was but had to bark at it as we drew near; it’s on her ‘property’. How could I forget! Anyway, no one was around the tractor but Maggie has to make sure she tells it off. All yip Maggie May. All yip. So funny.

But seeing the tractor, I now recognized the smell that wafted my nostrils in the start of my walk today – freshly toiled soil. Don’t you just love that earthy clean dirt smell. Oddly enough, that smell reminded me of my grandparents farm in New Brunswick (long gone but I have a framed picture next to my door of downhome – I loved that place and its memories). Almost every summer as a child we would head down east to stay with them for the ‘best’ two weeks EVER. Anyway grandpa had a cold cellar, built underneath the house, but could only get in there from outside. When I got to go down there to get grandma jars of whatever or vegetables stored from their garden, I would open that creaky old wooden door and be greeted by a cold clean earthy smell – loved it. And still do.

Freshly toiled soil. Yeah. The farmers have been busy. I could see perfectly horizontal lines of soil dug up, spaced out, ready for planting. Those lines were not there yesterday. Great sign of spring. And to top it off, a potato truck, big burly MAC truck, came down the road, turned heavily onto the same dirt road I trek each morning. My guess would be that it was bringing potato seeds for planting. Of course, little sassy Maggie May – the truck was invading her turf. Hold your horses Maggie May. Really. What are you going to do? Yip. That’s all you got.

I think my step had an extra kick in it today. I felt the rhythm of the island shout out a normalcy. Much needed signs of goodness to feel – toiled fields, big buoys in the bay now, lobster and mussel boats out, potato truck filled with seed – and my snowplow guy came yesterday to drag my lane. Woohoo. I can bring my truck back to park, not up at the main road. Yep life is good. Blessings.

Keeping those in need in my thoughts and prayers today.

I just got back from my morning walk and feeling a sense of peace, a calm of thankfulness. It’s a beautiful Saturday morning with the sun cresting over the horizon laying claim to the shimmering light spreading across its water below, with little breeze, a peacefulness comes in to my heart. I’m thinking prayer is a good way to begin today. Any day for that matter if that is what you like to do or find comfort in it. So clasping my hands together, I sit in quiet.

Yesterday (or at least that is when I saw the message) our provincial government put out a thoughtful way to communicate to our sister province Nova Scotia, to give a personal offering of sympathy and condolences on-line to those who experienced the tragedy that befell them last weekend. It may not be a big gesture, and certainly not an answer, but it might bring a glimmer of hope in words offered during the midst of the chaos. I am not sure why people do what they do but it breaks my heart to know that individuals or groups of individuals, can make decisions that are hurtful, and even fatal, in their action which is beyond one’s comprehension. Why? Oh, why? Can you tell me that?

Life is precious. Absolutely, positively a gift. I say that a thousand times over that life is precious as my family and friends can attest to. But life is…precious, fragile, graced, beloved. Each time I watch or listen to stories on the news of suffering and tragedy in and around our world, the heart splinters a bit more. Reminding me of the gift and burden of knowing, knowing how life can be taking one path and in an instant, takes off toward one less travelled. You can see it daily right before your eyes. There are no answers, whatsoever, that can come to mind, calming the shaken heartache left behind in the wake of what befalls. Where does a person find that rock to stand on, and not this feeling of sand, shifting beneath one’s feet, trying to get a foothold of steadfastness?

So today I want to pray… for those in need… for the homeless, shut-ins and sick… for those who have lost a beloved one… for those who are struggling to make sense of the impact of the COVID-19… for the elderly and fragile…for those forgotten….for those who struggle with mental illness…for families and their children, helping them cope with ‘staying home’… for the front-line workers…for loss of jobs, lay offs…for victims of violence… for political, religious, economic leaders to bring clarity and hope in the turmoil…. for a life lived.

I can go on and on and on. So much, too much. (never too much) But I also pray for joy in the heart, a beacon of the glimpses of celebration to be thankful for what we have. Just to know you are not alone and being grateful for a glimmer of hope.

So I leave a few prayers from others that I found..certainly a different perspective. But praying nevertheless, prayers out of the mouths of babes (or really older babes). Like praying to “help me to relax with insignificant details, beginning tomorrow at 7:41:23 am EST.” Or like praying “give me patience, like right now!”Or praying for “Now I lay me down to sleep I pray the Lord my shape to keep…please no age spots, please no gray, and as for my belly, please take it away”. Or from a farmer “thou shall not love thy tractor more than the wife and children; as much, but not more”. Or “Dear God, thank You for a baby brother but what I really prayed for was a puppy.” Or “Dear God, I say your prayer every night, ‘lead us not into temptation and deliver us some e-mail” but I never got an e-mail from you.. Do you have my right address?” Or from a little boy praying “if you can’t make me a better boy, don’t worry about it. I’m having a real good time like I am.” And finally to end with the Lord’s Prayer from a three-year old “Our Father, who does art in heaven. Harold is His name. Amen”

Let us pray in a thank you. Thinking of all those in need at this time. Blessings.

I guess if you do not laugh you cry. Are you kidding me!! I woke up this morning to snow blanketing my almost bare yard. Not nice Mother Nature. Not nice. I like to laugh but you’re hitting the bottom of the barrel with this one. A good friend texted me yesterday from Ontario saying she woke up to snow and included a picture of it. I should have known we would get it next. Why not? Just bring it. Like I said, I have to chuckle or I’m going to LOSE it.

Wheeling my garbage bin up my dirt lane to the main road, the snow is but a skiff. Thank the Lord for small mercies. But having said that the fallen snow has an interesting look to it today. I do notice that the snow crystals lying there are shaped more like tiny little white beads, not like a November fluffy snowflake These remind me of those pesky little styrofoam beads you find in beanbag chairs, the kind that seem to stick to you and are hard to get rid of. Yeah not so nice.

I guess I should have known cause the weather was wonky yesterday in the early evening. Rain, wind, cloudy, sunshine, calm and then suddenly I look out my window to a sky darkening quickly, followed by this large sheet of snow pelleting across the yard…kind of like a blitz lasting seconds…sweeping its way from one side to the other heading who knows where. And then what… the sun comes a calling. What’s the matter with you Mother Nature?? I think she is playing with us, saying “Take that. And that”; like she is emptying out her winter closet so to speak, furiously disposing of those last snow bunnies (you know like dust bunnies but not) hidden leftovers from winter season. Enough is enough already.

Well, what do you do when you live in a shoe? I guess not get too excited but make room for the toes. Loosen the ties that bind. In other words, suck it up buttercup. The half full cup of life. Weather like so many things is part of the daily. And winter, yes even winter, is part and parcel. I should remember when living up in northern Ontario during my first teaching experience, it snowed in June. So put it in perspective, it’s SNOW for goodness sake!!! Yep it is. It SNOWs too. Yep it does. And then in a couple of months time, its heat and humidity to go on and on about.

Appreciating what you have. In response to the text from my friend who woke up to snow yesterday, I reminded her of the wonderful times sitting in her back yard with her that the picture brought to life for me. Things are so temporal really. This too shall pass.

So whatever jingle is going on in my head right now – “Rain rain go away” or”Mr Sun sun, Mr golden sun, please..” or “Walking on sunshine” or “Raindrops keep falling on my head” or Singing in the rain” or “Four strong winds” or”Its raining, its pouring” or “You are my sunshine” or “Blowing in the wind” or “Let it snow” (thank goodness for being a kindergarten teacher, mother and singing in a choir), it’s all good. Weather on.

What is up with this weather? Had my clothes laid out for my morning walk last evening thinking it would be another day like yesterday and lo and behold looked outside…you betcha rain, cloudy and wind. Well I guess it is a good day for curling up with a good book, tucked up in a cozy blanket. No point in fretting because weather knows no bounds and being on the island…well one never knows.

But yesterday..wowza… the sun was shining and had some kick to it, a warmth beating down on my face as I sat in my muskoka chair. (I think that is an Ontario label as others’ may know them as Adirondack chairs) I set up the chairs on the deck last weekend, trying to hurry along that spring to summer feeling. The ground is still a bit damp and cool as there are still remnants of snow lingering in my yard. But come on enough is enough already. Sitting there in my muskoka wooden chair, with my head back, resting on a pillow, legs stretched out…oooohaaaah…the sun had a bit of a bite and felt so good and muchly appreciated. I love my muskoka chairs. You cannot beat the feeling. Yes, I have more than one…five. Why? Hoping for company. Yes. And each chair has a different feel when you sit in them but similar – the way the tilt of the seat and back of chair allows you to slip into them, relaxing to your body shape. At least that is how it feels to me. Then when you place your hands on the arms of the chair, they are wide and flat, allowing your arms to enjoy a rest too. I guess I like its rugged solid feeling, not going to break on me when I sit. I want company to feel at home…comfortable. Stay a bit. Not too long but for a bit. Yep,

Smiling, I think back to two summers ago when I started searching for some chairs for outside for sitting around my fire pit and on the deck. It was kind of fun experience. I could go with simple and easy to store folding chairs (I have a few of them already and they can break – story for another day) or livingroom-looking kind of chairs (no interest in that). What I really wanted was something to be more rustic-cottage-country-rugged in nature. Homey. Inviting. Muskoka chairs – voila!! Not so easy to find as I thought let me tell you. However, this one place on the island, called Poppies Porch (love the name by the way), they had some beauties. Or so it seemed. I drove by and saw these beautiful colourful muskoka-like chairs, bright and cheery, displayed for all to see out on this huge yard. A little steep in price mind you (I had to swallow when I first heard the price) but oh my they were easy to sit in and feel relaxed. Wider than normal in the seat, they had a perfect blend of comfort, light weight, solid feeling and colourful. I decided to treat myself. But how to decide? Careful consideration. Well, there were about 9 on display so I sat in each of them. Then like a good teacher I applied math and science thinking; I sorted and went through a process of elimination of course. In the end, baby blue and pretty yellow – got them.

The other three, though not as expensive for sure, came from a place made with love and care by this old retired fisherman. What a character! I called ahead as chairs advertised on Kiiji, got address and drove out to his home out in country. He had a few of last year’s left over and wanted to get rid of them. The beautiful thing when I met him was to let me go ahead and sit in them for a bit, try each one out, and then he’ll come back. That is so much better than when you go in a store and employees hover over you and all you want to do is say – give me a bit of space. I love that feeling of trust, a gentlemen’s handshake. Well of course the ambiance was perfect – beautiful sunny day, shade from huge oak and maple trees, and the chairs spread around a country setting. Sit a spell.

So I tried them out and moved them around because honestly they looked exactly the same in look but sitting wise…not so much. Some felt shorter in the seating area while others had a flat arm or an angled arm. One seemed to have a longer back. I must have been there for over an hour and half. But what got me was his story of how he made each of them and took me around showing me the wood he used and how he put them together. We sat out under the shade of trees while he weaved his tale of getting to this point in his life. In the end, I bought three and I love them. He did a great job of selling without selling, if that makes sense. Just a good ‘ol soul. Did I need all these chairs? No. Company acoming. Yes.

So I sat there yesterday and I enjoyed the feeling of home. The comfort of feeling safe and solid in my chair, wrapped around me as I sunk further into the warmth of its wood, hands laying free on its arms, while me looking out into the day – my little world. It kind of reminds me a bit of Goldilocks and the three bears. Sorry, I have grandbabies on the brain – miss them so much. Anyway, I will have to read it to my granddaughters the story some time as my grandson might feel too old for that. But the story tells the tale of Goldilocks trying out the three chairs…fussing.

I get it now, it has to feel just right and it does…my muskoka chair. Thanks for giving me a sense of comfort yesterday. Blessings.

PS Let us pray for all those who loss of loved ones and those who grieve.

What a great day for a walk! Crisp (maybe a teeny bit too cool) clear and sunny. Beautiful echoing sounds of the waves come rolling in, giving you a sense of power and might. Love it. Especially days when you are standing a top one of the bigger boulders, cast down from the cliff faces long ago, just high enough not to be plastered by spray of the waves. Exhilarating. I never know what the tide is going to be, high or low, as I can’t seem to catch the drift of it. All I know is that the shore took a beating this past winter as many of the rocks have shifted and portions of the cliffs have fallen, creating new rock piles for me to get a foothold on. More rock then sand in many parts. Note to self, always have tread on shoes…just saying. Face plant is not my favourite thing.

But this morning’s walk!! Well, I couldn’t believe my eyes as I saw three lobster boats out and about. (At least I think they are lobster fishermen). I know I heard a different kind of rumbling echo sound walking down the road today but did not connect the dots. It always amazes me how in tune my ears and eyes are…so the boats are out. Tis the season or not? There has been quite a bit of back and forth in their association and government talks as to when the season would be happening or if at all for at least the spring. Not an easy decision in light of the current situation of COVID-19. However seeing these boats out caught me by surprise because the buoys have not even been placed to mark the path. These boat drivers must know their water. Take ‘er easy.

But, I knew the season was coming soon (April 30/May 1st usually) because this past weekend, there was a hubbub of activity down by our harbour, the traps all stacked 4 deep along the pier, boats line the side of the wharf, and trucks are everywhere. It’s a sight to behold when these big trucks pull the lobster boats behind them, taking up quite a bit of the road – ROAD HOGS. Just kidding. But you do get a respect for the island culture, first hand, as the island roads are now dotted with fishing boats being towed to their home on the water. And I am sure like the wharf activity near me this weekend, the lobster guys (no females here – not sure why not) are cleaning their boats, setting up gear and supplies, and opening up their jellybean-coloured buildings (or huts) to be organized. Hopefully airing them out as well for I can only imagine that oh so pleasant fishy aroma permeating the nostrils – yum (NOT).

I get a chuckle each time I go by the boats as I read the unusual names written on their bow or stern of the boats. How they arrive on their names not sure but you kind of smile when you read Shirleyknot, Knotinarush, Knot4sail, Rock Bottom, Lobstah Tail, Whatthehaul, Christopher Robin II, and Fishin’ Impossible. Whatever the boat is called, man the decks boys tis the season of lobster. It is hard work and they put in long days even though the season is not long here. But they go out into some crazy weather, especially between the harbour, the channel to navigate their way out to sea and back. Sometimes those waves great crazy crazy crazy.

But ahoy mates, here is to lobster fare. Yummy?? Lobster for you…not for me. I’ll pass. How in the ever loving world do I live on the island and not partake in the world class lobster plate? Or any kind of seafood platter? Really? Well that’s for me to know and… Not going to go into the intricacies of the why and why nots; suffice to say…my portion will always go to my grandson (or maybe my granddaughters too). He LOVES lobster right from when he was a babe. Island boy for sure. And his mom too as she cannot wait for Mother’s Day. Well lobsters with your snippy claws, you may be okay for now from the jaws of my grandson.

Let us pray for the fishermen as the season begins, be safe and healthy.

Let us also pray for the victims and families of those in Portipique NS and area.

I got a hug today and did it feel good. Woohoo. It seems hugs are few and far between these days let me tell you. (Yes my daughter who I live with and love – stingy on the hugs). I know practicing physical social whatever distancing is in the cards now but one day…yes one day. So for right now, this hug might not be the rib-crushing-swallow-you-up-kind-of-loving-hug but it felt soooo good. This morning a friend sent me a hug, a virtual hug mind you, with a message of it being hugday (love it) from Messenger to let me know love is in the air and to send it out to loved ones and dear friends. Well colour me happy. Who would have thunk? It was exactly what I needed because I am so so missing my grandchildren, hugging loving kissing scooching them. (I know grandson, you may not like it as much. Too bad, Rara misses you.) And it is these kinds of things that bring joy and stir to the heart and soul. Thank you, my friend. Thank you for crossing my path today with me.

Crossing paths. It is an image that comes to my mind right now because I have wondered how life has an interesting way of how things come together. Do you ever wonder about the number of people you have encountered over the years, young and old alike, who have impacted you in some meaningful way? Maybe it was for only a hot minute or more of a longer haul (maybe too long…oops, did I say that… just kidding). Or those times when you were at a specific place or event at a certain time and it provides a moment of clarity, a stirring, a feeling of joy, a lesson. It may or may not be what you want to hear/feel/see/know but it may be what you need to hear/feel/see/know. That per chance meeting, that snippet of time, turned out to be life-giving (or possibly not so much. I would say RUN). Whether a person calls it by chance, fate, destiny, kismet – paths cross for a reason. I’m not alone.

I have to laugh at myself for I have found myself plenty of times saying to someone “we were supposed to have met today” or if I was in a certain place at a certain time and the experience in that moment I found myself thinking “this was supposed to happen.” Looking from a half full cup, this rendezvous might seem insignificant or of little import to others but holy lightning it is just what the doctor ordered for me. I needed it in that exact moment of time in that manner of receiving. What catches me off guard is how it may come… come softly in or more often than not like a tornado rattling the very fibre of my being, Kaboom! How on God’s green earth does it happen? Maybe I should not question it so much as to embrace and welcome this gift, a graced moment if you will – freely given to know you are not alone.

However as a FYI, I am not going to ignore or pretend that there were times in crossing paths…well let me just say here, I would rather not have had that pill to swallow. Hard to go down. That’s all I’m saying.

Nevertheless (half full cup), I find myself going to my go-to treasure trove of ‘pick-me up’ quotes and come upon Mother Teresa’s (Saint Teresa of Calcutta). Many a time her words reach me, stirring the inner pot, providing food for the restless soul. Gotta love a Saint. My find takes me to encounters are blessings and lessons. Yes, I am of the same mind (not even on the same level Mother Teresa but so agree with your thought). At the same time, I will add my own musing. I believe I have to be present in the moment in order to receive it; where I am ready to hear or see in the exact time frame of the intersecting of crossing paths with whom or what. A readiness. A wakefulness.

This reminds me of that amusing tale of The Drowning Man. This tale has an underlying life lesson of a man on his roof during a flood and asking for help from God to be saved. Not realizing that he was ignoring all the signs within reach sent to him to be saved. A little dramatic (not even) but effective. All I can say here is that I am grateful for the crossed paths with me, blessings and lessons. It’s all good.

Thanks for the hug today.

“I can do things you can’t do; you can do things I can’t do; together we can do great things.”

Mother Terea

I have been thinking of a song of late by Dwane Drost, a country gospel singer from Durham Bridge, NB. My folks met him a few years ago when they visited dad’s family and friends in that community during a jamming session of guitars and pics at the old general store. I have to chuckle as I remember how both my folks had huge smiles as they talked about their summer evening with Dwane and the old gang. Anyway, this one particular song speaks to me, a song that I think is dedicated to his mother (hopefully I am not wrong) as he sings about his mom struggling with alzeihmer’s. One of the lines in the lyric from Just the Same goes like “And it breaks my heart to see her as she looks into the mirror with a smile and she asks me what’s my name…”. A lump sort of gathers in my throat. It is reminding of my own mom and who she is becoming with dementia. I feel so far away and thinking of her.

Life is precious there is no doubt in my mind. One day you are kicking up a storm and the next day…well you wish you had stayed in bed. The crystal ball syndrome does not work let me tell you. But the beauty of the human heart keeps plugging away to try – just turn on any news or go on any social media to help you get that. We are bombarded with life and all its frailties. The spread and wake of COVID-19 is a perfect example. The measures that countries are taking to protect their people (thank you Canada) is staggering, welcomed for sure, but still overwhelming to the nth degree. And at the same time, it exacerbates the many human frailties that mark everyday human lives and social conditions existing already. Whew! That’s heavy…yep like a ton of bricks heavy. This is where you want to…(fill own words).

For a moment (too many to mention but feel) I can get into a frozen state (you know the brain-freeze-after-slurping-a-ice-cold-freezie state) where you feel numb, have to hold one’s breath and allow the needle-like feeling of glacier icicles piercing on an addled brain to slowly ebb. In other words, it is where the heart greets the hurt with pleading; pleading for the norm of yesterday as the new norm comes into play.

So what now? One step. That’s right. Why?? Because I can. That is what I have been coming to terms with lately. One step because I can. What does that even mean? At this point in my life, I can do. I can be. I can make. I can walk. I can pray. I can breathe. I can….There are way too many things or events or situations in our life that are out of our control but will still weave in and around you regardless, good or not so good. Things that can directly impact you and life as you know it changes. So I can becomes real to me now because I can. For now, I can go on a walk (Crocs not so great. I should have purchased new running shoes which I should have got back in November – my bad). For now, I can call my own name (of course I mix up my daughters and grandchildren once in awhile – sorry). For now, I can do physical distancing (absolutely do as I’m told). For now, I can make dinner (I would rather my daughter make it..please) , I can bend down (yep I love my knee pad and creaky bones). For now, I can weed (oh my mom would love that, probably laugh too). For now, I can help others (or at least reach out). For now, I can pray for strength and courage. For now, I can.

Putting things into perspective, even in the numbing unexpected times of life, I can because I can for tomorrow I might not be able to. And you? Can. Blessings.